


for you

by krucxa



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha is still a thing but stray kids isn't, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Felix is a barista, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, also, also felix is bi and proud, at least that's what i think this will be, but shh, but there's also so much fluff in this omg, from now on, hyunjin is felix's bff in this, i changed the summary cause i didn't like it anymore gkjshgkljhs, it's not about felix nor changbin though, seungmin is too, there were also some hoodies exchnged, tho there might be homophobia mentioned in later chapters idk, unhealthy relationship is mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 31,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krucxa/pseuds/krucxa
Summary: While stars were pretty nice in his opinion, he liked the moon more, finding it more captivating - and as it shined down at them, gently brushing Changbin with its light, the boy reminded him of it.No matter how cheesy it sounded, he realized that the boy was just like the moon he loved so much, and he guessed that he could be Changbin's stars, if only the other ever asked him to.





	1. Chapter 1

3racha wasn't really known of a band. Honestly, Felix only got around to knowing it because he saw someone on Tumblr mentioning their song, saying that it was pretty good, and he checked it out, just out of curiosity.

As he heard the first few notes of For You, he already knew he fell in love. And when he heard the first rap, the slightly rough voice smoothly following the music, he could tell that he was already screwed. 

He could tell off three different voices, but as much as every single one of them was good, the first one he heard just took over his poor heart. 

It didn't take him too long to become a fan of theirs - actually, it took him only one evening, that he spend listening to more of their songs and finding out information about them. Apparently the one with the voice that got him called himself SpearB, which was a pretty interesting name in Felix's opinion, but there were none photos of the trio, nor their real life names, and Felix wasn't disappointed. Of course he wasn't. 

Okay, maybe he was, but only a little bit, though. 

So what if he wanted to see how the person with such an amazing, smooth rap looked like. He also found an information that one of the trio was from Australia, just like him. His stage name was CB97 and Felix felt glad that someone from his own country could still somehow make it in Korea, where he has just moved a few months ago. 

As of now, Felix had every single song made by them, that he could find, saved on his phone and he listened to them pretty frequently as he went to his work. 

He was a barista at a local café, bringing in new customers with his unusually dyed hair, which was blonde at the moment, and his Australian accent, that Seungmin, one of his co-workers, described as _pretty cute_. To be quite honest, it surprised Felix a little to hear that, but hey, you didn’t see him complaining. 

It wasn't maybe the best job out there, but Felix didn't mind it. It had some useful perks, after all. He liked how the small building had this cozy atmosphere about it, how the smell of coffee lingered on his clothes a few hours after he left his work – most of the time people seemed to believe that if you worked at a coffee shop you’d get irritated by it, and yet Felix actually enjoyed it, it made him feel less homesick, for some unknown to him reason. He also liked how people didn't really get mad at him if he pronounced their name wrong, or if he wrote on the cup ㅔ instead of ㅐ, which was a blessing, honestly, as he was fired from his other job when he wrote down a word incorrectly, as it apparently was _really fucking important_ to spell it right, as Felix found out just after. 

Another thing that Felix really enjoyed here were the usuals. They always greeted him with a smile and stayed to talk with him for a while. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but his favourites were Jeongin, a boy younger than him by a year that always ordered a hot chocolate and started calling him hyung instantly after he told him his age, and Chris. Technically, everyone here called him Chan, but when Felix heard that the older boy was from Australia, just as him, he insisted on calling him his english name, and Chris always grinned at him when he did. 

He was actually having a conversation with the other right now, making him the usual caramel macchiato, and he hummed Hoodie Season's notes under his breath. Chris didn't comment on it, but the younger boy did notice a curious glint in his eyes. 

There was one thing out of the ordinary today, though. As Felix was just looking around the room, obviously bored out of his mind - at this late hour typically only desperate college students came in, not even bothering to order, and technically Felix should kick them out for that, but he was too nice of a person to do so - the bell above the doors ringed, which meant only one thing, someone just came in. 

And Felix saw this person for the first time in his life, which, okay. He didn't live here for a really long time, that’s true, but he knew most of the town, or at least knew their faces, as the little coffee shop was pretty popular here, even though it still somehow managed to stay mostly empty, usually. And yet, the guy that took a few steps closer, just to sit in one of the tables without buying anything was a total stranger to him. 

So what if he couldn't help but stare. 

The newcomer had a small, but somehow still kind of fierce frame, their eyes covered by a cap that was pulled so low Felix was actually wondering how the guy could even see anything. He was wearing a big, way too big for him, black hoodie and there were tangled earphones hanging from his neck, that he slowly put on after a few seconds, before pulling out a notebook from his bag and starting to write something down, his full attention on the paper in front of him as he chewed unconsciously on his pen. 

He was pretty interesting, at least in Felix's opinion. 

But he didn't order anything, and Felix didn't go up to him and ask if he wanted anything, so he just noted his appearance in his mind. No matter how much time has passed between Felix stealing glances at the guy, he was still absorbed in the notebook, and the blonde couldn’t help but pout, glaring at the snicker Seungmin threw in his direction. 

As the mysterious guy left a few hours later, just before the end of Felix's shift, he felt a slight hope rise in his chest. He wondered if he would come back. 

But hey, he wouldn't be disappointed if it was the first and only time he saw him. Or at least that's what he told himself as he went home that day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Felix, he called me pretty today," whined Hyunjin, drawling out the last syllable, making the said boy look up at him, looking like he was already done with his life. They were sitting on the floor in Hyunjin's room, Hyunjin hogging all the blankets which Felix just didn't bother to mention, as they were procrastinating on whatever they promised to do that day, and as much as Felix loved his dear best friend, he wished that sometimes he could just shut up. He's been at it for two hours. Felix was getting impatient.

"Well, what were the exact words he used?" he replied, his gaze back on the ceiling, and he stretched out his arms just a little bit, before going back to lying comfortably. 

The blonde could just feel the pout the other was giving him right now. He didn't even have to check. 

"He just... kind of looked me up and down and murmured, quote, it looks like when you were created everything good went to your face only and left you simply stupid." 

Felix snickered under his breath, Hyunjin retaliating with a jab to his chest, which made the blonde yelp in a betrayed way as he rubbed the spot that now hurt. 

"Wow, bro, that was like, a big ass burn, how did you not die on the spot?" he commented, and chuckled at another whine coming from Hyunjin as he curled up in an embarrassed ball full of self pity. 

"It felt like I did," he murmured, burying his face in his hands with a grumble. 

Felix pet his back lightly in the silence that followed, filling the room for a few seconds as Hyunjin tried to get rid of the embarrassment and the other boy remembered the mysterious guy from the coffee shop. He didn't even think before telling Hyunjin about him, as they were best friends of almost four years by now - Felix and him started texting each other on the internet, at first it was supposed to be just for language exchange, but then deep talks followed, like bonding over liking boys despite their homophobic families, and here they were now. 

"You know, there's this person that I saw in the café that I work in yesterday. And guess what, I didn't recognize him like, at all, so I just kind of stared at him? And he didn't even order anything, just sat by the table near the window, you know which one, and just kept writing something in his notebook. Which, okay, not that I'm bitter or anything, but why did he specifically go to the coffee shop if he could just write the thing literally anywhere else?" he ranted, his brows burrowing as his gaze was stuck on Hyunjin's closet. After a few seconds followed without any response, Felix glanced at his best friend, just to find him wiggling his eyebrows at him. 

"Was he cute?" asked the boy, and, wow. So that was what he wanted to focus on. Of course he did. It was Hyunjin, after all. The brat. 

"I see how it is," mumbled Felix, kicking the other directly in the ass, as he felt his cheeks flush just a little bit, brushing at them angrily with his knuckles to, hopefully, make it go away. The blonde scowled as he heard Hyunjin giggling through the pain. 

"I'll take that as a yes." 

"Like anything else, literally," Felix grumbled, ignoring the swat at the back of his head. 

≫≫

He was back at the café now, as he took the evening shift most of the time, since he wasn't a morning person and couldn't fall sleep until the late night hours, or more accurately even early morning. So yeah, it was more convenient that way. He still worked in the mornings sometimes, but just not as often. 

Also there weren't as much girls trying to ask him out by then, and, as much as he was bi and proud, he just wasn't so desperate to date someone he met for the first time in his life. It just felt weird. The fact that he wasn't even fully fluent in Korean yet, and most of the girls scrunched their nose when he didn't pronounce a word right, was another reason that he kept denying the offers. 

He needed someone that wouldn't mind that, surprise, he was actually a human being, which wasn't perfect in literally every aspect of their being, and the people asking him out just because his face intrigued them wasn't enough. It was just that, fake admiration of his looks, nothing else, and yet the only way that people showed interest in him. Was he really asking for too much? 

"Hey, Felix, do you know Hyunjin?" 

Seungmin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he glanced at the boy, rising one of his eyebrows slightly. 

"Yeah, why do you ask?" he replied, not even noticing as the bell ringed and someone quietly came in, sitting by a table near the windows, like they did the day before. 

"Just curious," murmured the boy, shooting him an innocent smile before going back to washing the counter in silence. Felix stared at him for a little bit more, feeling unconvinced with the explanation, but he let it slide, at least for now. He checked that the manager wasn't there, and sat on the counter, too tired to stand up anymore, ignoring the pout Seungmin gave him as the boy swatted at his knee with the cloth he used to clean where Felix sat just now. 

"Anyway, someone is clearly staring at you, lover boy," whispered the taller boy, making Felix perk up and he tried to subtly glance back at the tables, which, to be honest, he failed miserably. 

There, by the window sat the same guy as yesterday, his opened notebook gripped in his hands as his gaze was stuck on the blonde. He didn't react at the fact he was caught staring, he just blinked slowly after a few seconds, before his attention went back to his notebook and he scribbled something inside. 

If anyone asked him now, Felix would deny the rosy tint blooming on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do y'all think is hyunjin pining after? ;))


	3. Chapter 3

So, 3racha added a new song today, apparently. Felix gasped as he saw the notification from YouTube, already back in his home from work. He was actually getting ready to sleep, before he quickly checked his phone for any news, but he guessed that sleeping could wait as he clicked on the little thumbnail. The video was added just three hours ago, and Felix grinned at the fact, proud of being able to see it so quickly after it was posted.

He sat comfortably on his bed, pulling one of his two blankets around himself to keep warm, and he stared at the screen, waiting for the thing to load.

Finally, after the few seconds, the video started, the music filling the room softly, and he turned the volume up a little bit, just loud enough for him to be satisfied and quiet enough that his neighbours wouldn't curse him out for this.

He glanced at the title, the name of the song being Start Line, and he hummed under his breath, already knowing that he's going to love it.

And boy, did he.

He silently whooped when he heard CB97 rap the his whole section in English, already so used to hearing Korean all the time that it made him feel kind of comforted, like all this time he's been, unknowingly to himself, homesick.

Actually, when he thought about it now, the rapper's voice sounded pretty familiar, though he just couldn't think of where he might know it from.

His thoughts got interrupted, though, as he heard SpearB's rap start and his heart did some kind of a flip, which he swiftly ignored, denying that he already was getting attached to a voice. Just a voice. He didn't even know what the rapper looked like, for Christ's sake. He couldn't be that desperate, could he?

After the song finished, the whole room silent again, Felix just stared at his phone for a few seconds, unmoving. He really was right about loving this song.

He quickly saved it, before looking around and glancing at the watch, which read exactly 1.27 am, reminding him that he was actually supposed to sleep.

So he quickly did a few easy stretches, just to keep in shape, and lied down on his bed, burying deep into the covers with a satisfied hum. He didn't forget to play his _go the fuck to sleep_ playlist, though.

He fell asleep listening to 3racha's Placebo.

≫≫

It was warm as he woke up, deep under the blankets and just too comfortable to get up. The sun was already up and it's annoying light was coming through the window, and he grumbled, turning around so it wouldn't shine right at his face. He actually got some good rest, which was... surprising. But not unwelcome.

And honestly, the last thing he wanted to do right now was to actually get up, but he knew that he should. He had some important shit to do, probably, even if he didn't exactly remember what it was. There was always something important, even though Felix stopped paying attention to these things a few months ago, the procrastination just a little bit too much convincing to him.

In the end though, he did get up, just with a lot of whining that he had to send to Hyunjin by Snapchat. Most of it was his bitter face while throwing on a shirt, drinking coffee and glaring at a clock. His best friend was already used to how grumpy he got in the morning, just sending back a photo of his breakfast with a shrugging emoji. Felix just shook his head at it, before looking for something to eat for himself. The problem here was that his fridge was literally empty.

So after even more grumbling, trying to get himself to look at least somewhat presentable, he shrugged on a thin hoodie in which he stuffed his wallet, not forgetting to put his earphones on before going out.

The closest shop was a twenty minute walk from his home, but Felix didn't mind, it just meant that he had more time to listen to music, which helped him feel just a little bit better. He did glare at the sun on his way there, though, for the first five minutes. But then VIXX's Chained Up came on and he instantly felt like dancing - he didn't do it of course, since he was in public, but he whispered the lyrics under his breath, at least when there weren't any people around to stare at him like he was crazy.

He was just really passionate about music, okay. It wasn't weird to just go around and mutter lyrics, so why did people act like it was?

As he finally came to the shop, he didn't even bother to turn the volume down, avoiding any and all eye contact with people around him, not in the mood for small talk. He stood in front of the breakfast category, staring hardly at some cereal, wondering if it would be enough for his, kind of picky at times, taste. He finally decided to just take it, walking towards some cartons of milk, as 3racha's new song started playing through his earphones and he swayed a little to the music, not even bothering to check if anyone was looking at him.

Because hey, who could judge him, the song was a literal masterpiece.

He muttered CB97's part under his breath, taking the milk and finally looking around the place, immediately stilling as he saw a familiar figure. His mouth stuck in a shocked gasp, he gazed at the person, the dark eyes staring right back at him, with an unreadable glint in them. It was the mysterious guy from his café, though this time he didn't have this dark vibe about him - he was just wearing a black and green flannel, his hair uncovered for the first time that Felix saw him and he just looked... soft. It was unexpected, but not like, bad unexpected. It only made Felix even more intrigued about him.

Though he remembered that the guy just caught him rapping along to a song from his earphones under his breath, and he felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment. If you'd ask him now, he'd say that it was a sporadic, tactic decision, as he quickly turned around and ran like a flustered mess through the aisle to where the cashier sat, staring at him in slight amusement, quickly putting down his things for the other to scan them and paying for them, just to finally get out, so the guy wouldn't be able to stare at him more. Because, God, was it embarrassing.

He let out a low whine when he finally was out of the shop, dropping his face into his hands. His cheeks were bright red, he didn't even have to check to know that.

How was he gonna even look at him now?

The thing is, as he thought about it more, he probably just won't, as the only thing he wanted to do now was just for the ground to swallow him, and he slowly walked in the direction of his house, hoping that the guy would just forget about the entire thing. Or just let him live, like it never even happened.

But luck was never on his side, was it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh I'm so sorry for such a late update! i've been kind of dead the last few days and I couldn't write anything new, but I finally have a new chapter and I hope you guys will like it fksbxkdb  
> also, they finally actually meet

"Felix, I swear to God, if you don't come to your work in the next five minutes I will go to your house and kick your entire ass," hissed Hyunjin trough the phone, making the said boy pout even though the other couldn't see him. He crawled deeper under the blankets, whining just a little bit, but not so much that Hyunjin would call him a drama queen. Wait, no, scratch that, Hyunjin would call him a drama queen either way, so Felix let himself whine a little louder.

"But what if the guy's gonna be there and he's gonna high key judge me?" he mumbled into the phone, his voice muffled by the covers.

"Dude. Even if he does judge you, it's just a random guy that you can't help but have a big, gay crush on. Okay, so that might not be the best situation, and I really didn't want to phrase it that way but I already said it so I'm not gonna try to change it. Anyway, if you're not here, then I don't have any excuse to come and stare at my own crush, so you better get your stupid, pretty face here."

Felix pouted just a little bit more, before finally standing up with a sigh. An angry Hyunjin wasn't someone you wanted to mess with - Felix knew that too well, so he went to get ready, whining into the phone that he should find himself a new best friend.

≫≫

"Well, hello there," greeted Hyunjin as he took a seat in front of the counter, fluttering his eyelashes just enough for it to be noticed.

"Felix, please collect your acquaintance," muttered Seungmin, not even sparing a single glance at the newcomer, even though Felix was pretty sure he just saw a slight pink hue covering his ears. He didn't mention it, though, nor the fact that Hyunjin has been waiting to come in to the coffee shop for two hours now, which the boy kept reminding him on his way there. Honestly, at this point Felix was wondering how his best friend was able to survive this long.

"Not only an acquaintance, but my bromantic soulmate," he said instead, shooting Hyunjin a few over exaggerated kisses.

"Bro," whispered the boy, putting his left hand on top of his chest while brushing away some fake tears with the other.

They both ignored the confused look Seungmin gave them, focusing on making cute faces at each other, every time saying even more cheesy lines than before, not even noticing the two newcomers who sat next to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was just too busy throwing Felix a bunch of hearts while the blonde fake sobbed, confessing his undying love towards his best friend.

"Is that normal?" asked Seungmin after a few seconds passed to the two that just came in. Chris chuckled under his breath, nodding once.

"From how long I know these two I can tell you that yes, they act like this all the time," he replied, before waving at Felix to get his attention.

The blonde hummed questioningly, glancing quickly at Chris and the other person, before doing a double take. There, on the seat beside Chris, sat someone that Felix definitely didn't want to see today. The mysterious guy. That caught him yesterday rapping inside a grocery store, of all places.

He felt his cheeks heat up from embarrassment and he quickly looked away from the curious gaze of the other.

"You want your usual, Chris?" he muttered, trying to make himself look busy, like he didn't recognize the guy. At all. Because he didn't, of course.

"Sure. Though I actually wanted you to meet someone."

Felix stilled where he was already making the drink, his hand hovering over the cup and he shot a terrified look at Hyunjin. The other boy just shrugged hopelessly.

"And who would that be?" Felix murmured, his voice just a little wavering and he went back to the drink, like he wasn't currently panicking. Not at all.

"He's sitting in front of you, kiddo," and Felix just knew that Seungmin was watching the whole thing in amusement. That brat.

The blonde slowly turned around to face the people sitting by the counter, hoping that he didn't look as flustered as he felt, and he flashed the brightest smile he could muster right now, waving his hand out of nervousness.

"You're the kid that ran away from me yesterday, aren't you?" asked a voice that Felix could've sworn he heard somewhere before. It wasn't really deep, but it had this rasp about it that he was sure he didn't hear for the first time, as it made a familiar chill run down his spine, making him shiver just a little, that he, hopefully, hid with a stretch of his arms. He couldn't hide his embarrassment at the words, though.

"You got that right," he mumbled, avoiding any eye contact.

"Anyway, could you tell me the name of that song you listened to? I think I've heard it before, but I'm not sure."

Felix could feel his cheeks heat up at the mention that yes, the guy remembered his passionate rapping in a corner of a grocery store.

"Start Line," he replied, not noticing the look Chris and the other guy shared, nor the satisfied smiles on their faces.

"That's nice. I'm Changbin, by the way," the guy, no, Changbin said before turning to Chris after a second of silence and adding as an after thought, "also, Chan, why does he call you Chris?"

"It's just that Felix's Australian as well, so he likes using my English name more than the Korean one," explained Chris, and Felix nodded in confirmation, still too fidgety to actually say anything.

"You're Australian? I honestly though you're from here," murmured Changbin, not bothering to hide how confused he was.

"Yeah, I'm not fluent yet, either" muttered Felix, making some nervous gesture with his hand, before handing Chris his finished drink, who grinned at him in thanks.

"You don't want anything?" the question was directed at Changbin and Hyunjin, both shaking their heads slowly. Hyunjin said that he already had coffee before he came in, and Changbin? Felix squinted at the other boy, Changbin just smiled wordlessly.

The trio currently sitting by the counter talked some more with Seungmin as Felix just watched them, not bothering to add anything. It's not that he didn't want to talk with them, it's just that Changbin kind of intimated him. Not in a, _oh lord he's so scary_ way, but in a _I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of him_ way. Felix knew that his best friend could tell why he was silent, as he kept glancing at him with amusement from the corner of his eye. Felix just pouted at him in response.

Later, as he looked at the clock, he saw that he had only five minutes left until the end of his shift, so he waved at Hyunjin to come with him, before saying, "I have to go now. It was nice meeting you," the last part he murmured to Changbin, the other rising his brows at him slightly, and it was all it took Felix to add an unsure sounding _hyung_ , before leaving to the staff room to quickly change and go with Hyunjin to the other boy's house. He already knew that he was in for some teasing from his best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> choo choo it's the pain train  
> but also  
> this chapter is mentioning, and even more than that, an **unhealthy relationship** , so please, if this topic makes you uncomfortable, please don't read it, as I don't want to remind people of any bad memories or even possibly trigger anyone into a panic attack

The walk to Hyunjin's house was long, but they preferred it than taking the bus. It was peaceful, as Hyunjin lived far from the centre of the town, so there weren't as much people there, which meant that they could have their deep talks on the way there without being worried that someone might overhear them.

This time, though, they spend it with teasing remarks and loud laughter, apologizing to the people that already went to sleep in their minds. That didn't stop them, though.

They finally stumbled into Hyunjin's house half an hour later, and they instantly went to make themselves some hot chocolate. When it was done, Felix leaned on the table as Hyunjin sat on one of the chairs, letting out a satisfied sigh at how warm the cup was in his hands.

"So, Changbin?" murmured Hyunjin, sending Felix a teasing smirk, and the blonde could just feel his cheeks becoming red.

"Shut up," he whined, his voice a few notes higher than usual. Hyunjin let out a whistle at the sound, before taking a sip of his drink, quickly regretting it as it was still too hot, which made him scrunch his face at the fact that his tongue now burned.

"Maybe you should go to some vocal lessons, you could hit high notes like that," he commented after a second, and Felix hid his face in his hands with a groan.

"Can we stop talking about this for now?" he whispered, bordering on desperate. Hyunjin snickered, but let it go, even though the twinkle in his eyes told Felix that this topic wasn't over yet.

They drank the chocolate in silence, occasionally kicking the other lightly in the shin, but otherwise it was peaceful. Moments like these reminded Felix why he loved his best friend so much - how comfortable they felt around each other, and how they either could talk for hours or just spend them quietly as well. He smiled softly at the thought, glancing at Hyunjin from the corner of his eye, and the other grinned back at him wordlessly.

After that they moved to Hyunjin's room, Felix borrowing the other boy's clothes to sleep in, both not bothering to go somewhere else to change as they didn't feel embarrassed about doing it in front of the other.

The thing is, Felix noticed, that his best friend has been unusually silent since they left the kitchen, and as he glanced at him now from the corner of his eye, he found the older staring at his shirt, his gaze numb as he stilled, even his breathing barely visible.

Felix took a few uncertain steps towards his best friend, putting his hand on top of the other boy's shoulder. Hyunjin flinched, shooting the blonde a startled look, before calming down quickly, still not saying a word.

"He messaged you again, didn't he?" asked the younger, making Hyunjin bite his lip as he nodded, avoiding any eye contact.

"Did he say anything like the last time?" Felix questioned further. He didn't want to make Hyunjin uncomfortable, but he needed to know the whole situation.

The taller boy let out a sigh, finally meeting his gaze, and Felix could feel his heart squeeze at the pure sadness in his eyes. Hyunjin nodded again, his lips starting to tremble slightly.

"He told me... he told me that I'm nothing without him, that he was the only person that could make my life at least somewhat purposeful," the boy whispered, his grip on the shirt tightening as he continued, "no matter how much I don't want to listen to him, how I know that if I do then it's gonna happen again, I still end up answering his calls like an idiot. And I know that all he says isn't true, but there are moments when... When I actually start to believe him. When I question myself, whether my life has any value, whether I deserve feeling happy like I am when I hang out with you guys, whether I have the right to call you my best friend, because what if I am the literal piece of trash as he says? It's just. So hard to remind myself that I shouldn't believe him. But sometimes... sometimes I miss him, even though I know I shouldn't."

Felix could feel anger fill up his heart as he saw exactly what Hyunjin has been going trough because of this person. No, not even a person, the guy was a fucking monster in Felix's opinion.

But he knew that his anger wasn't what Hyunjin needed at the moment, so he squished it down, pulling the other closer to himself in a hug, acting like he doesn't hear the sniffles coming from the boy, and like he doesn't notice how his borrowed shirt is getting wet.

He wasn't good at expressing his feelings with words, so he hoped that his actions would show the other just how worried for him he was.

He rubbed comforting circles on the other's back, murmuring that _it's gonna be okay_ , even if none of them really believed it. And when Hyunjin sobbed how it's been so long, and how he should be over it by now, he just hugged him tighter, letting his best friend know that he was there.

Felix knew about the guy - he was probably the only person that Hyunjin told about him, as his family wasn't accepting and wouldn't listen to him, and Felix was the closest person to him. He knew about him as Hyunjin developed a small crush on this boy older by a few years than him, he knew as Hyunjin and the guy started talking, he knew about it as they got together and as the guy started acting... different, than he did before. It hurt so, so much to see his best friend being treated like that, how the boy always told him that he's okay, that everything's okay, even though Felix coult tell that it wasn't.

But they weren't together anymore, and it's been three years since Hyunjin finally got rid of the guy, or so they thought. Felix nibbled at his lip, petting Hyunjin's head before pulling back just a little bit when he realised that the sobs finally seemed to stop. The other looked like a mess, his cheeks red and puffy from the crying, a few strands of his hair sticking to them slightly, and Felix couldn't possibly worry about the other even more than he already was.

"Better?" he murmured, Hyunjin replying with a nod.

"Go drink some water, I'll make the bed ready," he added, and the boy did as he told.

That night, as they cuddled in Hyunjin's bed, he felt the older's grip tighten around him, pulling him just a little bit closer than they usually did.

He didn't mention it though, nor the fact that his shirt got just a bit more wet with new, warm tears than it was before.


	6. Chapter 6

"Felix?"

He grumbled as a voice tried to pull him out of sleep, and he turned away, burying his face deeper into the covers, hoping that it would leave him alone. It wasn't giving up, though.

"You asleep?"

He let out a light whine, opening his eyes just a little bit and squinting at the face of his best friend, who seemed to forget about the existence of personal space.

"Not anymore," he murmured, sending Hyunjin a glare, or at least what was supposed to be a glare as he was still too sleepy to actually look angry, which made him look like an irritated kitten.

"You're welcome. Get up, I want some breakfast, and you know that I can't make it myself."

Felix squinted at the older boy, cursing him in his head just for the sake of it, before actually throwing away the covers and standing up with a yawn. He rubbed one of his eyes in a tired manner, and stomped towards the kitchen as he heard Hyunjin whine at him to finally _get his ass there and make him something to eat_.

They didn't talk about what was said the day before. It's not that they pretented it didn't happen - there was just no need to. And so, Felix made them both pancakes. Those were easy to do, and it didn't take much time to make them - also Hyunjin always complimented his pancakes, and this fact helped him decide.

He didn't even bother changing into actual clothes, still wearing Hyunjin's shirt with some random shorts he found in the boy's closet, and he didn't really care as his best friend took a photo of him making their breakfast to Chan on Snapchat, adding a classic _boyfriend material_. He did flinch, though, as the other let out a yelp before quickly showing him his phone. There was a reply, supposedly from Chan, but it wasn't actually him. There, on the screen, was Changbin's smiling face with a simple _cute_. Felix took a screenshot before he even knew what he was doing, glancing at Hyunjin, a pout appearing on his lips.

"You have to send me this photo," he whined, and Hyunjin just replied with a nod.

It didn't take much longer after this for the pancakes to be done, and they ate in silence, even though they exchanged a few kicks under the table, like they always did. Not even sitting on the other sides of a table could stop them from, full of love of course, bickering.

Hyunjin was the first one to finish eating, and he stared at Felix in contemplation, the blonde letting out a questioning hum, which finally made Hyunjin speak.

"Do you wanna hang out in like, two days? There'll be me, Chan, Woojin, Jisung and Jeongin, unless they bring someone else with them, but they'd probably tell us if they did. We're gonna go watch some movie, a horror I think, you up for that?"

Felix nodded slowly, as he couldn't currently say anything because his mouth was still stuffed with pancakes, and he still had some manners contrary to some people. By that he meant his best friend, of course.

Hyunjin seemed to sense his thoughts as the next thing Felix knew was his knee receiving another kick from the older, to which he replied with a scrunch of his nose.

He guessed that the whole hanging out thing wasn't a bad idea. He hasn't seen Jeongin or Woojin in ages, while he met Jisung every Monday morning, but it was usually just a quick greeting before the other ran off to wherever he was supposed to be. So meeting the trio sounded pretty nice, and maybe he'll get to know Chris just a little bit better, as they only met at the coffee shop, even though most of his friends, like Hyunjin, hanged out with him on a daily basis.

The rest of the day he spend woth his best friend, until he had to go to his work.

≫≫

The coffe shop was pretty much empty at this hour, and he was the only one working at the moment as Seungmin caught a cold and asked Felix to cover for him. He agreed, reminding the younger to rest as the other replied with a whine.

Felix looked around the café, and as he saw not even a single person gazing back at him, he just put his earphones in and played Seventeen's Don't Wanna Cry. He might've been at work, but since there wasn't anyone around to scold him, he could allow himself to have a little fun, couldn't he?

So he let himself drown in the feeling, closing his eyes, and before he knew it, his body was already moving to the music, murmuring the lyrics under his breath as he remembered the choreography he learned somewhere around two months ago.

Sure, it wasn't the best place to dance, but it was enough. And it wasn't like anyone was going to see him, so if he tripped and fell on his ass, or maybe hit the counter by a small miscalculation of how much space he had left, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Oh, was he wrong.

He didn't know exactly why he opened his eyes, maybe somehow he just felt that something wasn't as he thought it was, but the sight of Changbin sitting in front of the counter with a soft smile wasn't what he was expecting, and he let out a yelp, his legs somehow managing to tangle with each other, and he fell. On his ass.

_Jesus, that hurt._

He cursed quietly, glancing at his earphones that got yanked out probably in the process of his falling, that just lied on the ground pathetically, just like his pride.

"You okay?" asked the person that caused the whole thing, and he ignored the boy's concerned look, turning so that he was facing away.

As Changbin couldn't reach Felix at the moment, he just threw a napkin at him, to which the blonde replied with curling in himself even more.

"Just leave me here to die," he whined, making Changbin chuckle. He could feel the boy's amused gaze on his back, but it didn't help him to feel better.

"How is it that you always catch me doing embarrasing things?"

Changbin just let out a deep hum.

"I guess I have my ways."


	7. Chapter 7

The next day, Seungmin was back in the coffee shop, despite Felix's disagreement. The taller boy kept on stumbling, and he seemed like every sudden movement made him physically hurt, every time it happened ruffling his already messed up hair with a pained expression. Anyone could tell he wasn't feeling his best, and yet he kept on insisting he was fine, so Felix decided to just keep his eye on the other. 

He also shot glares at every customer that laughed just a little too loud or tapped their food for a second too long for Seungmin's comfort, instantly silencing them. Their customers weren't used to seeing him angry, so when he actually got irritated they used to shrink back without any protest.

Before he actually got to the café, Felix saw Jisung on his way there, which was pretty unexpected, but not unwelcome. They exchanged some greetings, making small talk, and apparently the other boy didn't even know about being invited to their meeting which was tomorrow. It was kind of funny, seeing the confusion on his face, and Felix couldn't help but giggle at the sight, despite the other jabbing him in the arm for that.

Which reminded him, as he glanced at Seungmin now, that he could actually invite him to go with them to see the movie. Unless the taller boy felt sick again, he shouldn't disagree, and Hyunjin's reaction at the sight of him should be pretty funny.

Felix felt his lips pull into a slight smirk, quickly hiding it behind his hand, before going up to the other.

"Hey, Seungmin?" he asked, poking his left cheek. The boy looked at him questioningly, not bothering to actually open his mouth to reply.

"Do you want to go with me and the squad to the cinema tomorrow?" he questoned further.

Seungmin seemed to think about the offer for a few seconds, nibbling on his lip lightly.

"Who exactly do you mean by the squad?" he murmured cautiously, the blonde quicjly shooting him a, hopefully, comforting smile.

"Just, you know, Chris, Woojin, Jisung, the kiddo, and... maybe Hyunjin," he responded, the last part barely audible, but it was there, so the younger couldn't whine later that he didn't say that Hyunjin would be there. 

Because, hey, let's be honest here, Seungmin wouldn't stop acting like he didn't care unless he got a little push in the right direction. Felix has seen the two dancing around each othed for months now, and as much as he found it pretty funny, he was worried that Hyunjin would get the idea that as his ex said, he couldn't find anyone else for himself - and Felix couldn't let this happen. 

As Sengmin nodded approvingly, Felix just smiled wilder, satisfied. Maybe the two will finally talk some more besides just bickering. If luck was on his side, for once in his life.

≫≫

He didn't really notice anyone familiar that day in the coffee shop, as he was too occupied with worying about Seungmin's health. And yet, as his shift ended and he left the café, before the doors could fully close behind him, another person came out.

Felix glanced behind his shoulder, surprised to see Changbin there, shooting him a smile in the form of a greeting.

"Didn't expect to see you there," said the older, Felix just raising an unconvinced brow in response.

"I literally work here," he muttered, to wich Changbin shrugged.

"Anyway, as we're both leaving right now, I could, I don't know, walk you home, if you'd want to?"

The question made Felix stop in his tracks, and he shot a startled look at the other. Changbin was just giving him an expectant smile, his eyes hooded by the cap he pulled so low they were barely visible.

He could feel his cheeks heating up at the intense gaze of the shorter boy, and his hand went to run through his hair nervously as he nodded slowly.

"I mean... if that's okay with you, then sure," he murmured under his breath, glancing at the other from the corner of his eyes, and his heart flipped at the grin that appeared on Changbin's lips at the words.

The older skipped to stand next to him, nudging his elbow lightly.

"So, shall we?" he asked, and Felix could only nod in reply, too flustered to trust his voice.

It was already dark, a cold breeze tickling them gently as they walked, making the blonde shiver. Now he regretted not taking any jacket with him, his shirt too thin for the weather. He could see Changbin taking off his cap for some reason, and he couldn't hide his confusion as the other handed it to him.

"Can you hold it for a second?"

Felix could only hum in agreement, as he watched the other pull off his own hoodie carefully. The shorter didn't seem to mind the cold, like he wasn't even feeling it.

Changbin took his cap back, putting it back on, before reaching out his hand with the hoodie in it.

Felix glanced at it, then at the other boy again.

"You're obviously cold," explained Changbin, and Felix suddenly felt warm spread through his face at the fact that the other noticed.

"Won't you get cold now, though?" he whispered, avoiding eye contact, as he played with the hem of his shirt, flustered.

The other just sighed, loud enough that the blonde could hear it.

"Just take it, kid."

And Felix couldn't protest anymore, taking the soft, so soft hoodie and throwing it on, noting how his hair messed up because of the action. Before he could do anything about it, though, Changbin's hand was already smoothing it down, and Felix had to bite his lip to not make any flustered sound.

"Thanks," he whispered after the boy was done, Changbin just gently smiling up at him. Felix could swear his heart melted at the sight, and he quickly looked away, surprised to find his house before them.

"We're here," he mused, Changbin just letting out a light hum. 

Now the blonde didn't know what to do, as he glanced at the shorter boy. Should he just leave? Should he hug the other, or maybe ask if he wanted to come in?

But instead the shorter boy just pet his shoulder, murmuring a simple _goodbye_ , before walking away, and Felix ignored the disappointment that suddenly filled his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i haven't been updating this fic as often lately, and i'm sorry for this ;;  
> but I hope this is an apology enough ♡

The next day, as Felix stood in front of the cinema, he wondered if he was starting to get a little bit too desperate, too obvious.

Before he got there, it took a few hours for him to decide what to wear - a thing that never happened when he was about to meet with his friends. 

Nothing seemed to be right, not even the black skinny jeans that made his legs look fantastic paired up with his favorite red flannel, and Felix was close to giving up, whining loudly about his miserable life even though he was pretty sure that at this point his neighbours hated him, when his gaze fell on the one hoodie lying on the bed. The one hoodie that wasn't his. Yes, the one that Changbin let him wear yesterday, that Felix only realized he still had it on as he was about to change into his pyjamas.

And before he knew it, the hoodie was already snatched and pulled on, and he glanced at the mirror to see how it looked.

It was funny, since Changbin was a good few centimetres shorter than him, and yet the hoodie was still just a little too big for him.

He remembered how the older's fingers barely peeked out of the sleeves, a sight that he wasn't gonna comment on as it was just too adorable, and he felt his heart squeeze at the fact that Changbin wore clothes a few sizes too big for him.

Now, as they waited for Chris and Hyunjin to finally come so they could go watch the movie they were supposed to, the hoodie was hidden underneath his jacket. Felix thanked the cold weather for this, even though he's probably gonna take it off inside the building, but it's not like anyone's gonna notice that it's not his, right?

Unless Chris noticed it, since he's good friends with Changbin. Where was he, anyways? He never was late, unless he was meeting up with Hyunjin before they got here together, since Hyunjin wasn't as on time as the older.

And as Felix thought of his best friend, his gaze wandered to Seungmin, who was currently talking with Jisung, both smiling widely. Felix squinted at them. The two didn't even know about the other's existence ten minutes ago, and they already were getting along like some good friends that knew each other for years. It seemed kind of suspicious, so Felix told himself to keep his eye on them. They were probably plotting something.

"I see you dyed your hair again."

Woojin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he turned around to give him a bright grin, looking the other up and down.

"You did too," he mused, staring at the blonde locks, before adding, "it suits you."

Woojin chuckled openly, his smile reaching his eyes.

"We're matching," he joked, making Felix laugh as well. The older ruffled his hair, Felix letting out a whine but not even trying to get away from Woojin's hands.

"Blonde buddies?" murmured Felix when the other finished, running his hand through his hair to smooth it down a little, before extending it out towards Woojin.

"Blonde buddies," replied the older, fist bumping him gently.

Felix couldn't help but giggle again. He's missed hanging out with the older. Woojin had this chill vibe about him, always making him calm, and when they spend their days together it was always a peaceful evening filled with warm blankets and open talks, listening to the other ramble. Woojin reminded him of hot chocolate, his voice rich and smooth, calming.

"Damn, I've missed you," Felix admitted, Woojin shooting him a soft smile.

"I've missed you too, kid."

Before any of them could break the comfortable silence that now fell between them, they heard a few excited gasps and a small _finally_ that sounded suspiciously like Jeongin.

Felix was about to turn to see who came, but he felt a body collide with his and he yelped, waving his arms wildly to regain his balance.

"You didn't tell me you invited Seungmin," Hyunjin hissed right into his ear, making him giggle uncontrollably as he clutched his stomach, the other boy, smacking him lightly on the back of his head.

When Felix calmed down a little bit, he glanced at his best friend, then at Chris who was already standing with another newcomer in front of Seungmin and Jisung, chuckling at something Jisung was saying, and was that?

Felix's breath got knocked out of his chest and he quickly whipped back to look at Hyunjin, not bothering to hide his panic.

"You didn't tell me Changbin's gonna be here either!" he whisper-yelled, his voice just slightly higher than usually.

Hyunjin just shrugged in response.

"Seems like we're even now."

The boy ignored the kick in the shin that Felix aimed at him.

≫≫

When they stumbled inside, Felix didn't feel the least better. Everyone was taking off their jackets now, and if he was the only one not doing it would be pretty suspicious, so he took off his own reluctantly, avoiding any eye contact. He glanced at Changbin from under his eyelashes after a few minutes, though, and he startled as he found the other already staring at him with a satisfied smile. Felix's cheeks burned as he looked away.

He didn't have that much money with him today, so he didn't buy anything, but on the way to the movie Chris handed him a cup of coke, and he grinned at the older in thanks. Felix also noted that none of them brought any Pepsi with them.

And as they were looking for some good seats, they ended up going to the back, where Felix went to sit beside the wall. He didn't mind the seat, he actually liked it more, as it meant that there was only one person sitting next to him instead of two, and he expected Hyunjin to sit there as they promised each other the day before.

Instead of Hyunjin, though, who sat next to him was someone way shorter than his best friend.

Felix gulped before glancing at the person, already sure who it was but just checking if he wasn't actually wrong, just in case - and there, he saw Changbin, his face illuminated by the light from the ads shown before the movie played, his dark eyes twinkling just slightly as the corner of his lips turned up.

"Hi," murmured Changbin, and that's when Felix realized that the boy was looking right back at him. He didn't look away, though, because it would make him even more obvious, so he just smiled at the other awkwardly, before turning to the movie that finally started playing, thanking the staff in his mind for the opportunity.

Hyunjin was right, about it being a horror movie. And Felix suddenly remembered exactly why he didn't watch those, especially not in front of his friends.

He let out a terrified yelp as a jumpscare appeared, his hands grabbing the nearest thing there was, gripping it tightly.

He heard a light chuckle, and he looked up from his curled position to look at the source of it, just to find Changbin's amused gaze close, so close to his own, and his heart stuttered in his chest as he stilled, his hand gripping the thing he was holding to even tighter.

"If you wanted to hold my hand so much, you could've just said so," the older teased, and oh. Felix glanced at his hands, pulling them away quickly, but before he could turn back to the movie, he felt a hand sneak into his own, intertwining their fingers.

"Hey, it's okay. If you're scared, you can just hold on," Changbin murmured softly, not seeming to notice the way the words made Felix's heart melt. The blonde nodded, smiling at him in what he hoped would be a thanks enough, before finally going back to watching the movie.

Or more like, what was supposed to be watching it, as the only thing he could concentrate on for the rest of the movie were the gentle gasps Changbin let out every now and then, and the way the other's hand was so comfortingly warm in his own.

≫≫

The movie was good, but pretty scary, was what Felix decided as they were about to leave. At least from what he saw, of course, since Changbin sitting next to him was pretty distracting - and from the way that Hyunjin's cheeks were slightly pinkish as the boy passed him, a few steps back after Seungmin, he guessed that Seungmin was too.

Somewhere in the middle of watching it, he noticed that the two were sitting next to each other as well, and that was all he needed to know that his plans worked as he saw Seungmin leave a small peck to Hyunjin's cheekbone.

Felix sent his best friend a _you'll have to thank me later_ look, that the other replied to with an overwhelmed huff.

Nobody brought up how Changbin still held Felix's hand even as they left the building.

And as the older insisted on walking Felix back to his home again, Changbin still didn't pull away, not even as he murmured _you look really cute in my hoodie, it suits you_.

He didn't do it as Felix jokingly replied _maybe I should keep it, then_.

He just smiled softly and hummed _maybe you should_.

When Changbin said it, sounding so serious, Felix didn't have to check to know that his cheeks resembled a tomato because of the comment.

And the older only pulled his hand back as they reached the blonde's house, but before he left, he ruffled Felix's hair lightly.

"I had fun today," he whispered, sending Felix a wink.

And Felix's knees suddenly felt weak.


	9. Chapter 9

"You're whipped, man," Hyunjin's voice sounded muffled as Felix lied buried underneath the blankets, refusing to come out. The blonde just let out a whine in reply, burying even deeper.

The pile of blankets moved, before Hyunjin's face appeared in front of his, and he pouted at his best friend.

"Why are you even still denying it?" murmured the boy, giving him a look that did a good job in conveying just how done at this point Hyunjin was.

"Because I'm bi and tired and I don't want to admit it because if I don't, I can at least pretend that it's not true," rambled Felix, ignoring the unconvinced side eyes Hyunjin gave him, pushing his best friend's face away.

The older boy just sighed, giving up, as he looked around the room. Felix came to visit him just because, quote, his house looked too empty and he felt too lonely in it. And usually Hyunjin would be happy to have an excuse to spend his time with his best friend, but this time as fast as Felix came, he already was hiding in Hyunjin's bed. He didn't even leave space for Hyunjin, and it was his own bed for Christ's sake.

"By the way," murmured Felix, finally lifting the covers just a little bit, so that his eyes were visible. At Hyunjin's questioning him, he continued, "What's up with you and Seungmin? You together now, or?"

It took a few seconds for his best friend to reply, and Felix glanced at him curiously.

"We... honestly, I'm not sure. We just, kind of, agreed to take it slow? Like, we're going on a date tomorrow, but you know, it's not official yet," Hyunjin said slowly, and the expression on his face told Felix that he tried to explain it in the most understandable way. The blonde nodded in reply, a small smile forming on his lips.

"That's great, you'll have to tell me the details when you get back," he hummed, making the other giggle under his breath.

"Yeah, will do," he murmured, glancing at his hands for a second, and Felix could feel that something was troubling him, "do you think that he won't... that he's not like...?" the boy trailed off, his gaze still stuck on his palm, playing with his own fingers nervously.

"He won't. I might know him not that long, but he doesn't seem like the kind of person like your ex."

_Like that douchebag_ , was what Felix wanted to say, but he left that part unsaid.

Hyunjin looked up at him with a soft, yet still kind of unsure smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, man," responded Felix, grinning at his best friend from under the covers.

They sat in comfortable silence for some more time, until Hyunjin seemed to remember something, letting out a quiet gasp.

"Actually, you still didn't tell me, why were you so flustered when you came in?" he asked, and Felix just knew that his cheeks flushed at the question.

So he told Hyunjin, about what happened at the movie, and what was said on the way back to his home. The boy stayed silent the whole time he talked, just letting out gentle hums every now and then, or wiggling his eyebrows. The last part he did only once though, as Felix jabbed him on the shoulder for it.

"So, the hoodie you're wearing right now is also his?" guessed Hyunjin as the blonde finished his speech, and Felix glanced quickly at his clothes, as he already forgot what he was wearing.

"Yeah," his voice cracked slightly at the fact, and he brushed at his cheeks angrily, not bothering to make sure that they were still red. His best friend chuckled at the sight.

"It's a nice hoodie," he commented teasingly.

"It sure is," replied Felix, kicking him lightly to make the other stop, but it didn't work, just as always.

"Are you going to keep it?"

The question made Felix still for a second, and he thought about it a bit more.

"I don't know," he muttered with a shrug.

"You know, could give him yours in return," suggested Hyunjin, wiggling his eyebrows again, and oh. That actually sounded like a good plan.

Felix could feel his cheeks heating up as he imagined Changbin wearing one of his hoodies, literally drowning in the thing. He would look so adorable, Felix had to bite his lip to stop himself from cooing at the thought.

That's why he stood up, and sprinted towards the doors, shouting thanks to a startled Hyunjin.

"I was only joking!"

Hovewer, it was ignored.

≫≫

As Felix stood in front of the counter that eveing, he realized that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't a great idea after all.

The last half an hour he spend figuring out which of his hoodies he should give the other, until his gaze finally landed on his favorite, grey hoodie. It had a few years, but it had just the perfect amount of fluffines, the texture as soft as he liked.

It was a gift from one of his friends from Australia, and there was his name and written on the back, with the year he was born in underneath it. He treasured it the whole time he was in Korea, but he guessed that if he was going to give Changbin one of his own hoodies, he shouldn't give just any - and it totally wasn't because of the fact that he wanted to see the older with his name written across his back. Of course not.

But now, as he glanced nervously at the boy sitting by the windows, scribbling something in his notebook, seemingly forgetting about the existence of the rest of the world, he found himself doubting his plan.

What if the other thought it was stupid, judging him for even thinking it was a good idea?

Felix shook his head quickly to get rid of the thoughts, ignoring the startled look Seungmin shot him from the other end of the counter.

"You okay?" the other mumbled, not bothering to hide confusion in his voice.

"Just peachy," replied Felix, waving it off.

Seungmin didn't question further, though he kept glancing at him from the corner of his eye for a few minutes, until the blonde shot him a grin, repeating that he was feeling _great_.

He didn't even notice as Changbin finally put down his notebook, walking up to the counter and sitting in front of him.

"Hi there," greeted the older, making Felix jump up just a bit, and the blonde turned around, to find Changbin staring at him with amusement.

"You want anything?" the younger mumbled quickly, gesturing vaguely at the menu, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"No thanks. I'm just here to see you."

Felix's neck suddenly felt warm as the other chuckled lightly, and he glanced around the shop to avoid looking right at Changbin, and blushing even more in result. His hand fiddled nervously with the hoodie, that was currently lying on the counter, behind the menus.

"What you got there?"

Changbin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he glanced at the hoodie, before looking at the older with an anxious smile. There was no going back now.

"I... you know, since you gave me your hoodie, I wanted to give you something in return," he replied quickly, so quickly that he was pretty sure the other would have trouble understanding him, his accent thicker out of nervousness. 

He pushed the hoodie so that Changbin could see it now, and the other reached out for it curiously, checking the texture of it and staring at it from different angles.

"It's really nice," he commented, his gaze turning back onto Felix, before he added, "I wasn't expecting anything in return, but thank you."

The blonde let out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding, and he grinned at the older, relieved.

"I'm glad you like it," he murmured, his heart melting a little at the sight of

Changbin smiling softly back at him, and the older tucked the hoodie under his arm. "I'm gonna head out now, but thank you again."

Felix waved at him until he disappeared behind the doors, whispering a goodbye, his smile still present on his lips.

"So that's why you acted so weird before," he heard Seungmin chuckle, as the other nudged him in the stomach lightly.

"Shut up," he whined, even though his cheerful mood stayed until he fell asleep that night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning, this chapter is kinda crappy as i'm tired and i don't even have the energy to try and beta it rip

"Felix, why are you calling me while crying at, wait, let me check, two am?"

Hyunjin's tired voice filled the room as Felix's phone lied on the floor, next to the whining pile of blankets. Honestly, at this point Hyunjin had no idea where his best friend got so many of them. There must've been at least four covers on top of the boy, and he was sure that the blonde didn't even own half of them.

Felix just sobbed again, turning to lie on his side dramatically. Hyunjin didn't have to see him to know exactly what the other was doing, and he sighed quietly.

"Is it 3racha again?"

The slightly louder whine Felix let out was an answer enough.

"Which song, this time?" Hyunjin asked further, making his best friend finally sit up. The boy sniffed a few times, rubbing one of his eyes as he stared at his phone.

"For You," he mumbled, his voice kind of hoarse from all the crying.

"Isn't that the first one you heard from them?" at this point Hyunjin didn't even try to hide the confusion in his voice, Felix could tell, and the blonde could just see the other running his hand through his hair tiredly.

He nodded, only remembering after a few seconds that Hyunjin wasn't actually able to see him, so he hummed, glancing at his puffy, red eyes in the mirror.

"Why are like this then, since you already know this song?"

Hyunjin sounded pretty much done at this point, and Felix would feel bad for waking him up if they didn't do it to each other as frequently as they did.

"But they wanna support us," he whined again, his voice cracking in the middle of the sentence, as he threw himself into the blankets again.

"Dude, shut up," replied Hyunjin, and Felix gasped in mock hurt.

"You wound me."

Hyunjin just let out a deep sigh.

"Tell that to your neighbours when they come to kick your ass for all the noise you're making at ass o'clock."

≫≫

That day, when Felix showed up at his work, he found the place full of people he knew - and by that he meant, there were all eight people he started calling friends after he moved to Korea.

There, sitting in front of the counter, were Chris and Woojin, listening to Jisung talk animatedly, their whole attention on the younger boy, as they both smiled softly at him like proud parents would at their kid.

Next to them Hyunjin was currently trying to look like the arm Seungmin threw around his shoulders didn't make him flustered, even though he couldn't hide how red his cheeks were.

In the corner giggled Jeongin, as Minho ruffled his hair with a cheeky smile. The two seemed to get along pretty well, and Felix suspected that it wasn't entirely platonic, but he wasn't going to intervene.

Beside Minho sat Changbin, with the same cap as always, pulled low as he watched the whole gathering, the corner of his lips turned up just a little bit, so that you would've missed it if you weren't paying enough attention.

And Felix felt warmth spread around his chest as he saw that the boy was wearing a specific, grey hoodie, that piled up on his wrists, making him look like he had sweater paws, and his fingers barely peeked out of the sleeves.

Felix couldn't help but smile at the sight of all his friends inside, but that didn't change the fact that he was still confused as he took the few steps towards the counter, taking off his jacket on the way there.

"What are you all doing here?" he asked, glancing at every person in the room, his gaze lingering for a few seconds on a certain boy who, as always, didn't have any coffee or any other drink standing near him.

"We just wanted to meet up, you know, since we're all friends?" replied Chris as Hyunjin shrugged lightly, the rest just humming in agreement.

Felix shot them an unconvinced look, and Chris sighed before trying again, "okay, this was Hyunjin's idea, he said you cried at night and he wanted to cheer you up in some way."

Felix glanced at his best friend, who brushed his neck with a nervous smile, before jumping to hug he other.

"I can't believe you, you dork," the blonde muttered, and his best friend let out a chuckle, wrapping his arms around the younger.

"Why was he crying, anyway?" asked Changbin, Jeongin chiming in with a concerned _yeah, hyung, why did you?_ , and Felix could just feel his cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

Before he could tell them that it was nothing, though, Hyunjin already opened his mouth to respond.

"He got all emo because he was listening to 3racha."

_The brat_.

"Shut up, oh my God," he whined, pushing his best friend away, who fell into the arms of Seungmin, and Hyunjin threw the blonde a smirk. Felix just pouted at him, before taking a cautious glance around the room.

Woojin was chuckling openly, his eyes crinking up at the edges, as Jeongin's face held a confused expression, Minho petting his shoulder with a smile.

What made Felix feel even more confused than Jeongin looked, was that Jisung was staring at him in something akin to, maybe awe? As Changbin and Chris shared an amused glance.

"What?" he murmured at his friends, who just shook their heads in reply, Changbin smacking Jisung in the back of his head to make him stop.

"Nothing," murmured Chris, and that was it. The whole gathering started to talk wildly again, loud laughter making any possible customers turn around as they made the decision that they could come in some other time, and Felix didn't feel the least guilty, just happy to see the whole group gathered in one place.

He didn't even know when the topic changed into relationships. It was probably because of Hyunjin and Seungmin, the two holding hands pretty frequently for something that wasn't even official yet, glancing at the other shyly every few seconds.

"Were you ever in a relationship, Felix?" suddenly asked Minho, seeming really interested in the blondes love life for some unknown to Felix reason.

"Oh boy, was he? He's had like, a bunch of boyfriends already, I couldn't even count them all if I tried," chimed in Hyunjin, Felix scrunching his nose at him.

"It's not like that, you asshole. I was just young and trying to find someone to spend the cold evenings with," _I just really like cuddles_ was left unsaid, even though everyone could tell it was what he intended to say.

"Really? Whoa, I've never had a significant other, that's unfair," mumbled Jeongin from his place in Minho's lap.

"It's okay, maybe someone special is waiting for you," the older reassured, and the boy was seemingly the only person oblivious to what Minho was implying.

"But does that mean you've had your first kiss already? How was it?" Jeongin asked further, and Felix chuckled in an embarrassed manner.

"I actually... didn't. Not yet," replied the blonde, feeling someone's curious gaze on him, but he was too flustered to check who it was.

"You know, none of the relationships I had were actually serious. I barely even held hands with most of them, besides the cuddling of course," he added, avoiding any eye contact as he heard Woojin and Hyunjin coo at him.

"That's really cute, though," commented Jisung, grinning at him comfortingly, and Felix suddenly remembered why he liked his friends so much.

"Thanks," he murmured, scratching his cheek sheepishly, and he thought that he saw Changbin smiling at him softly from the corner of his eye, but he wasn't sure, as in the next second Hyunjin came up behind him and tickled him mercilessly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda short, but i tried yeah?  
> it's still more than 1k words gjdfjkl

Felix glanced at his phone in wonder, as he sat on the bed, back in his house already.

Before they all went their separate ways, someone, he didn't know exactly who (but probably Jisung) shouted that they should make a group chat, the rest of the boys agreeing instantly, even though Chris looked kind of unsure for a second there. 

So there it was now, called very originally _Stray Kids_ , which Hyunjin joked that it should be changed to _Gay Memes_ , even though nobody really bothered to do it. 

And boy, did they all text a lot. He only just got back home and he already had a bunch of missed messages from them, the number increasing even more with every second that he stared at the phone, unsure if he should join in or just let them talk. 

Because he wasn’t really the type of person to talk much in a group chat. He never knew what to say, and if he really had anything to add. So since people always seemed to get along just fine without him, he just usually ignored the notifications, sometimes checking what was said in the last few texts, before going back to ghosting them. 

But he reminded himself that those were his friends, and he knows some of them for months, or even years in Hyunjin’s case. Sure, Changbin he knew for less time than the others, but they already got some weird bond between them that Felix didn’t dare question. 

The blonde scrunched his nose before checking the chat, not even bothering to see what were they talking about. 

**Stray Kids**

  
**freckles:** why are y’all spamming so much  
**freckles:** how did u even write this much in such a short amount of time??  
**freckles:** also who the fuvk changed my name to freckles  
**koala:** language, young man  
**freckles:** whomst the fuck changed my name to freckles, then  
**koala:** n o  
**koala:** that’s not what i  
**koala:** ,,you know what. i'm done  
**jisunshine:** lmao  
**jisunshine:** but yeah, it was hyunjin  
**freckles:** was it rlly you bro  
**jinnie:** yeah bro  
**freckles:** why’d u do that bro  
**jinnie:** bc I love your freckles bro  
**freckles:** bro  
**freckles:** that’s gay bro  
**jinnie:** i know bro  
**jinnie:** ;)  
**smol:** i thought you were with seungmin hyung though? (・・;)ゞ  
**jinnie:** not officially  
**jinnie:** so i have every right to flirt with my best bro  
**freckles:** bro  
**minnie:** I see how it is.  
**jinnie:** wait no come back ily  
**bear:** Well damn  
**changderella:** what drama is this?  
**jinnie:** shut uppp  
**jinnie:** don’t laugh at my pain  
**minnie:** Someone has to.  
**jinnie:** ouch  
**smol:** why are you so mean to each other?? (｡•́︿•̀｡)  
**bundle boy:** Yeah, don’t fight in front of the child  
**smol:** i’m not a child!! ヽ(҂ `з´ )ノ  
**bundle boy:** Sure you aren’t, kiddo  
**smol:** woojinnie, please tell minho to leave me alone (╥﹏╥)  
**bear:** I don’t know, he’s got a point  
**smol:** Σ(°△°|||)︴  
**smol:** betrayed by my own hyung  
**bear:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Felix snickered under his breath, figuring that he could leave the others to their own conversation. He glanced around the room, his gaze falling onto the clock hanging above the nightstand, and he startled at how late it already was. Before he could put down his phone, though, it dinged with another notification, this time from another chat. He stared at it, feeling his cheeks heat up. It was a message from no other person than Changbin. 

**changbinnie:** hey

He let out a high pitched sound, which some people would describe as a squeal, but Felix would deny its existence if anyone ever asked. Then he quickly typed a reply, hoping that it sounded casual enough. 

**lix:** yeah?  
_**changbinnie** is typing…_

The blonde tapped at his thigh nervously as he stared at the screen of his phone, waiting for the boy’s reply. It didn’t take that long, but to Felix it felt like an eternity. 

**changbinnie:** i was wondering  
**changbinnie:** if you’d want to meet up?  
**changbinnie:** tomorrow?  
**changbinnie:** i’d say we could go to get some coffee but eh  
**changbinnie:** it doesn’t really work when it’s literally your job i guess

And that’s. Okay. 

Felix took a deep breath before calmly, very calmly of course, opening a chat with Hyunjin. 

**juliet:** H YUNJIN OH MY F UVK  
**juliet:** CHANGBIN ASKED ME TO HANG OUT  
**juliet:** THIS IS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION  
**juliet:** WHAT DO I D O  
**romeo:** j e sus, bro  
**romeo:** i’m happy for u and all  
**romeo:** but ;ike u could just say yes  
**juliet:** wOULDN”T THAT BE TOO LITTLE THOUGH  
**juliet:** WHAT IF IT MAKES HIM THINK THAT I DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE HIM  
**romeo:** believe me, it won’t  
**romeo:** u left him on read tho, didn’t u  
**juliet:** S HITE U RIGHT

Felix nibbled at his lip anxiously, going back to the chat with Changbin, hoping that he didn’t leave him hanging for too long. 

**changbinnie:** it’s okay if you don’t want to, of course  
**lix:** nonono i’d love to!!  
**lix:** ahem  
**lix:** i mean  
**lix:** yeah, sure  
**lix:** we could just go for some ice cream tho  
**lix:** coffee gets kind of boring when u spend so much time around it u know  
**changbinnie:** yeah i kinda figured lmao  
**changbinnie:** 2pm sounds good?  
**lix:** ye  
**changbinnie:** k, i’ll come to pick you up  
**lix:** okay!!  
**lix:** now, good night  <33  
**changbinnie:** night

He unconsciously pouted at the lack of heart in the other’s reply, but it’s not like he was going to complain, right? They were meeting up tomorrow, so there’s at least that. 

Felix’s lips turned up at the thought, before putting his phone on the nightstand, and going to quickly change into his pyjamas. It was his favorite, the soft, grey shirt with comfortable black shorts, and he couldn’t help but feel even better after he put them on. He did a few easy stretches before climbing into his bed and burying deep under the blankets, feeling like this day was the best in the whole week. But who knows, maybe tomorrow would be even better? 

He fell asleep with a gentle smile, unaware of the new text he received. 

_**changbinnie** is typing…_  
**changbinnie:** sleep tight  
**changbinnie:** <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so so sorry for the late update!! i kinda had a writer's block lately and idk i barely could write like 300 words in one sitting eh  
> this chapter isn't even that long but i didn't want to make u all wait even more so!! i'll just try to write a longer update next time i guess?

Needless to say, when Felix saw the text he missed as he fell asleep, the blonde could feel his cheeks blushing for the next ten minutes. Luckily, no one was around to see his flustered state, contrary to the way he was panicking.

"I don't know what to wear, Hyunjin," he mumbled into his phone as he stared ddejectedly at all the clothes he's thrown on the bed straight from the closet.

"Just put on whatever," murmured his best friend, and Felix was pretty sure the other was already planning a way to murder him for waking him up so early again.

"But I don't want him to think that I don't care enough to dress nicely around him."

Hyunjin hummed lightly, probably thinking how he could silence the blonde, the thought making Felix smile just a little bit before remembering about his current crisis.

"Well then, remember those ripped jeans that we bought together that made your legs look so good that I swear I saw a guy drooling as he passed us? Yeah, wear those," was what he said in the end.

Felix glanced at the mentioned clothing, that was lying on top of the pile on the bed. It might be a good idea, but...

"What if that's a little too much, though?"

"I swear to God, Felix, just put on the damn thing."

≫≫

As he waited for Changbin to come pick him up, he ended up wearing the jeans as Hyunjin told him, also throwing on a plain black sweater. _For simplicity_ , explained the older boy, just as Felix was about to open his mouth to ask him, so he gave up on arguing more.

And it all would've been nice, if only Changbin wasn't late.

The blonde squinted at the clock, feeling his lips pull into a pout, and he texted Hyunjin, as his foot nervously tapped the floor. It didn't take too long for the other to write a reply.

**romeo:** it's only been like 2 minutes bro  
**romeo:** chill, it's not like he's not gonna come

His frown only deepened at the words, not helping him to feel any better.

**juliet:** what if he doesn't tho  
**juliet:** what if i just made myself look all cool just for him to not show up :cc

At this point, he could literally feel the phone radiating with Hyunjin's irritation at his whining.

**romeo:** he will  
**romeo:** i know it  
**romeo:** but if he doesn't  
**romeo:** well  
**romeo:** then i'm free to kick his ass right

Felix smiled at the words, glad that his best friend always knew what to say to make him calm down.

He glanced at the clock again. Changbin should've been here three minutes ago, leaving the blonde nibbling at his lip in both nervousness and anticipation.

He didn't expect the bell to ring right at that moment.

Startled, he bit his lip just a little too hard, letting out a slight hiss at the sudden pain, before quickly standing up and going to open the door.

"Hi," greeted a smiling Changbin, but his expression shifted to concerned as fast as he showed up.

"Your lip is bleeding," said the boy before Felix could even greet him back, not bothering to wait for the blonde's reply before walking inside. He grabbed Felix by the wrist, pulling the boy after him, and the younger had no time to ask what he was doing as Changbin pushed him down onto his couch.

The older then seemed to look for something, and Felix just stared at him, not even trying to hide his confusion.

"What are you doing?" the blonde asked after a few seconds, shifting where he sat so he could see the other better.

Changbin didn't even spare him a glance, just hummed in satisfaction as he probably found what he was looking for. Felix straightened a little, but still was unable to see what Changbin was doing, as the older was standing with his back towards him.

Just as he was about to open his mouth again, the other suddenly turned around, taking the few steps towards Felix quickly, before sitting next to him and putting one of his hands on the blonde's jaw, turning his head so that Felix was now facing him.

Felix's breath got knocked out of his chest as he noticed the intense gaze that Changbin focused on his lips, but he didn't say anything, waiting for the older to do what he wanted.

Then he felt a light pressure on his lip, and he hissed at the sting, that fortunately lasted only for a few seconds.

Changbin held the gauze firmly, and yet the way he pressed it to the other's skin stayed gentle, wiping the blood off with so much care that Felix was starting to worry about his heart condition. It was racing so so fast, maybe he should get it checked, since it probably was anything but healthy.

The way that Changbin glanced up into his eyes after he was done, before his gaze once again fell onto his lips wasn't helping either. But maybe Felix just imagined it, as the older's eyes flitted away so quickly it seemed like they didn't stop there at all.

"You should take care of yourself more," muttered Changbin, still not meeting Felix's eyes, and maybe it was just the lighting, but Felix was pretty sure he saw a pink hue covering his cheeks.

"I don't know, maybe I like you taking care of me sometimes," he murmured with a teasing smile, unsure where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but hey, he wasn't going to complain.

Especially when he saw the way that the corner of Changbin's lips turned up just a little bit as he snickered, hitting Felix's shoulder playfully. 

"Brat," the older murmured, and Felix just grinned in response, watching in fascination as Changbin turned his head to the side, hiding his own smile, even though the younger could still see it, the sight making his heart melt even more than it already was.


	13. Chapter 13

They didn't stay much longer inside after that.

Before leaving, though, Changbin insisted that it was colder outside than it looked like, and snatched one of Felix's sweaters. It was light yellow, not a favourite but it was close to it, as the thing was the most comfortable piece of clothing Felix has ever worn.

And as he looked at Changbin now, the slightly shorter boy looking so soft as he buried into the sweater, Felix thought that maybe it was actually his favourite sweater after all. Especially when Changbin scrunched his nose at the colour, acting like he didn't like it even though he didn't do anything to take it off.

As much as Changbin tried to obtain this dark reputation if his, he was actually the most adorable person Felix has ever met. And he's met a lot of them.

"So where exactly are we going?" he asked, looking around the street, a kid grinning widely as she ran past them, a stray cat sitting on top of a balcony, its big, hazel eyes locked on them. Felix shot it a flying kiss, the cat replying with a slow blink, and as he glanced back at Changbin, the older was already staring at him with an unreadable expression, his ears kind of red, and Felix had to poke his nose to snap him out of whatever he was thinking about.

"You didn't answer my question," mumbled the blonde, making Changbin chuckle under his breath.

"Ah, you'll see."

And no matter how much Felix tried to get any information out of the other, nothing succeeded, leaving him pouting for the rest of the walk. But he couldn't help but note that the whole thing was actually pretty nice - it wasn't as cold as Changbin made it out to be, which okay, was pretty suspicious but he'll let it slide this time.

The more they walked the less people they saw, away from the center of the town, which made Felix feel some sort of comfortable as they walked next to each other, their shoulders brushing every now and then. When they were still in a crowd, Changbin linked their hands saying that since Felix didn't know where they were going, he could easily get lost, and Felix was about to complain before he realized just how soft, and how warm the older boy's hand was in his.

And as the crowd around them seemed to disappear with time, Changbin still didn't pull his hand away, even when there was only an occasional person passing them by, but Felix didn't bring it up, hiding his smile by turning his head away.

It was... nice.

Never would have Felix thought that someday, he'd find himself walking beside Changbin, their fingers interlocked, the shorter boy wearing one of his sweaters. He'd never guess that underneath all that dark vibe Changbin is, actually, just a big softie. He found the fact pretty cute, though, and he could feel his little crush for the older growing just a bit more, into something that he wouldn't name yet.

"We're here," Changbin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and the older pulled his hand lightly, turning him to face the building. It wasn't as big as the ones in the centre of the town, but it had this coziness about it, and Felix couldn't help but already like it.

"Not many people know about this place, so I like going here when I need some peace," explained Changbin as they came in, waving vaguely at all the empty seats.

He walked quickly to the counter, pulling Felix behind him, and he smiled at the older woman who stood by it.

"Could I have the usual, please? And what do you want, Felix?"

Suddenly in the spotlight, the blonde glanced at the menu, flustered, before stuttering out a quiet _mint ice cream, please_.

The woman chuckled, and it didn't take long for them to get their order, Changbin insiating to pay for both of them.

"I'm the hyung," he muttered, and Felix couldn't argue any further, taking the ice cream with a pout on his lips.

"You're a really cute couple," commented the woman, making Felix flush, but before he could explain that they weren't together, Changbin was already opening his mouth to say something.

"Thank you, grandma," as he shot her a grin, before walking away to one of the tables in the back, so they could talk comfortably, Felix following him like a lost puppy.

It really wasn't a popular place, Felix noticed, as he looked around the place now. He hasn't seen a single other person inside, besides them and the older woman, and now he knew why Changbin liked it so much. Especially when he tried the ice cream - _God_ , it was so good.

"What do you usually do when you come here?" he asked the older, too curious to think it through, and Changbin glanced at the bag he brought with himself.

"I... write, lyrics," he admitted after a few seconds, not meeting the other's gaze, and Felix couldn't control the excited gasp that left his mouth.

"Oh, could I see some? Do you have them with you?"

And Changbin actually seemed kind of shy, Felix noted, but before he could tell him that it was okay if he wasn't comfortable with it, the older was already opening his bag, taking out the same notebook that Felix saw in his hands so many times.

Changbin opened it, skipping a few pages until he found something that he apparently thought was worth showing, before pushing the notebook towards Felix, a pink hue covering his cheeks.

But Felix couldn't admire the blush for long, as the curiosity in him was just a little too convincing, and he glanced down at the page.

_What if_  
_After having a regretful act to someone precious,_  
_When I'm trying to convey my sorry heart to ease the regret, but_  
_Before I could do that,_  
_What if that precious person disappeared forever?_  
_Maybe I'll regret it more,_  
_As I hold the pain of my heart getting torn apart while I keep going on_

"Wow," was what left Felix's mouth after he read the lyrics, they all hitting so close to home that he could feel his heart dropping in sadness, before he glanced at Changbin and continued, "those are so, so great. Honestly, they're so, so deep, I'm..." he waved his hand to get his point across without actually using any words - he wasn't good at expressing himself without any earlier preparing for it.

But Changbin seemed to understand what he was trying to say, and he smiled shyly, quickly taking the notebook back and stuffing it inside the bag with a murmured _thank you_.

"Anyway, did I just saw you biting your ice cream? Who even does that?" the older said to change the topic, and Felix let out a betrayed huff.

"Of course you did, this is the only correct way to eat it!"

And so the debate begun, and they didn't even notice as the hours went by, the debate left unfinished when the woman excused them from the shop because of the closing time, even though they exchanged the looks of _someday you'll see that I'm right_ and _sure, you overgrown fool_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you know which song is it? ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm cocoa intolerant and i project onto the characters way too much, that's all i have to say

"You know what, I'd never want to be a vampire," murmured Hyunjin from where he was sitting in front of the counter, his head lying on his hands as he stared up at Seungmin who was currently making some student's order, his brows knitted slightly in concentration as the machine just wouldn't cooperate.

"Why though?" asked Felix as he polished the place next to Hyunjin. He's already been doing it for five minutes, but it's not like he's going to ask his best friend to move, he can just wait. It's not like anyone's here to judge him.

"I like garlic bread way too much to stop eating it."

Felix snorted at the words, glancing at the older in amusement.

"But what if it'd work like a simple allergy? Like, you could get some medicine after eating just a little bite and you should be fine," he replied, wiping another few times before finally throwing the cloth away, too bored to continue doing it at this point.

Hyunjin's eyes shined with excitement as he straightened in his seat.

"You're a genius," he gasped and Felix shot him a wink.

"I know."

The boys could hear Seungmin's sigh fill the place, after the other handed the exhausted student her drink, before glancing at them briefly. 

"It's not like you'd ever actually get to be a vampire," he said, followed by Hyunjin's whine of _don't you ruin my dreams, dude_.

Felix hummed under his breath, tapping his own chin twice.

"But what if anyone with an allergy of some sort was secretly a vampire? Just, you know, another kind of vampire who couldn't stand other things than garlic," the blonde wondered aloud, ignoring Hyunjin's unsubtle huff.

"Wouldn't that make Changbin a vampire?" responded Seungmin, as he grabbed the cloth Felix used before, finishing what he started.

The shorter boy's head turned to face Seungmin so fast that Hyunjin had to ask if Felix didn't get a whiplash.

"What?"

Seungmin shot Felix a confused look, before murmuring, "you don't know?"

Felix just sighed, waving his hand wildly.

"Don't know about what?"

"Changbin is cocoa intolerant," explained Hyunjin, as his hand slowly creeped towards Seungmin's, before subtly pushing the cloth away and interlacing their fingers. Seungmin didn't do anything to stop him, just brushing the other's palm with his thumb.

The youngest seemed to notice Felix's shock, before murmuring, "right, you weren't here when he told us about it?"

"Apparently not."

That's when Hyunjin's phone, that was currently lying on the counter in front of the boy, started ringing, displaying the words _don't answer_ with the number underneath it, and Felix instantly knew it was Hyunjin's ex. He remembered the little string of digits, in case Hyunjin ever erased the number and the guy still tried to contact him.

He shared a look with his best friend, the other's eyes wide opened in fear, before glancing back at the phone. The boy reached out his hand, before shakily dismissing the call. Hyunjin glanger again at Felix, a small smile pulling at his lips, and Felix grinned back at him, a silent _you did great_.

Until that point, Hyunjin was never able to ignore the calls. Felix knew, he's seen it happen too many times, but as he stared at Seungmin now, the taller boy wrapping his arm around Hyunjin's shoulders comfortingly, Felix was glad to find that Seungmin was a good influence for his best friend.

"Anyway," said Hyunjin loudly, a little too loud for the place they were in, but neither Felix nor Seungmin commented on that, "who even eats pizza crust?"

Seungmin let out an offended gasp.

"It's the best part, you coward!"

≫≫

"Why can't she just realize that she's in love with her for fuck's sake," whined Felix as he lay on his couch, the newest episode of the drama he recently started to watch, playing on his laptop currently lying in front of him, and he scrunched his nose at the screen in disappointment.

It was already past ten, the moon high up on the sky, its light falling into the room from the window, as Felix didn't want to get up just to close the curtains - and he liked the moon, so it was all okay in the end.

They had a wild debate in the coffee shop, about a lot of weird food habits that their whole group of friends had. Now Felix knew which of his friends he'll now trust with his life and which he'd rather not look in the eye for the first two minutes when they meet again.

And now he was back in his home, alone, and there was an empty container of ice cream lying next to the couch that he ate all of as he cried because of the end of the last episode.

And he thought that it's just going to be one of those nights, when suddenly someone knocked on the door. Who even came to visit, unannounced at such an hour? What if he was sleeping already? Of course he wouldn't be, but like, what if he was hypothetically asleep?

He opened the door, his face going from bitterness to shock at the sight of the person he was expecting the least to show up at the moment - it was Changbin, the boy looking up at him with an embarrassed smile, and Felix couldn't help but remember the fact that he was already in his pyjamas, hoping that Changbin wouldn't comment on it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, flustered, glancing behind Changbin to make sure that it wasn't some sort of a prank that Hyunjin came up with, but he didn't notice any of his friends nearby, making him even more confused.

"I bought too many chocolates," murmured Changbin sheepishly, pulling them from where he was hiding them behind him, his fingers patting the box in a nervous manner.

Felix's eyebrows only rised further up in surprise, so Changbin spoke up again, "I didn't want them to go to waste."

It was enough of an explanation for Felix, he decided, and he shrugged before opening the door just a little wider.

"Do you wanna come in?" he suggested, Changbin responding with a nod, before the boy shuffled inside, quickly pulling off his shoes as he glanced around.

"What are you watching?" he asked, and that's when Felix realized that he left his laptop open on the drama. He felt his cheeks flush and he walked up to the couch.

"Just a random romance," he murmured, hoping that the older didn't hear the last words, but before he could turn it off Changbin was already looking at the screen with an excited glint in his eyes.

"Hey, I know this one! Actually, I haven't seen this episode yet, can we watch it?"

Felix glanced at the shorter boy, regretting it right after. Because how could he say no to his pleading eyes, or to the adorable pout on his lips?

And that's why he ended up curled on his couch, Changbin lying right next to him, almost cuddling as there wasn't even enough space for the both of them, but he found no intention in him to complain about it as he looked at Changbin, all of his attention on the movie, and his heart melted at the sight of the older nibbling at his lip in concentration.

So he went back to watching the movie, enjoying the plot even though it seemed to like to tear his heart apart. He knew that the both girls were probably going to end up together, but just the thought about the protagonist not realizing her feelings was enough to leave him crying. At least there weren't any other sad scenes now, because he really didn't want Changbin to see him cry because of a drama.

Speaking about Changbin, he glanced at the boy, you know, just because, but then he did a double take, finding the older already staring back at him with an unreadable expression.

He knew his cheeks probably bloomed red at the moment, the intense gaze piercing right through him, just a few inches away.

"You've never kissed anyone before, right?" asked Changbin, and now Felix was sure that his cheeks couldn't heat up even more than they already were.

"Yeah," he whispered, not sure why he's done it, since nobody else was there to hear their conversation, but it still made him too embarrassed to talk any louder, before adding jokingly "what, are you offering me a peck?"

But Changbin didn't laugh, and was his face even closer to Felix now or was he just going crazy?

"I might be."

The words knocked the breath out of his lungs, and he stared silently at Changbin, his heart racing so fast he was actually getting concerned for his health. He saw Changbin's gaze flicker down to his lips, before it was back at his eyes, like a silent question, waiting for the response patiently, and all Felix could do was nod just the slightest bit, not trusting his own voice at the moment.

Suddenly there was a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He closed his eyes before their lips collided, and he couldn't control the gasp that left him, Changbin's fingers tangling in his hair and pulling lightly, as he moved his lips in such a way that made Felix sure that it couldn't be the other's first kiss as Changbin seemed to know exactly what to do to leave his knees feeling weak. He kissed him back shyly, trying to mimic the way Changbin did it, unsure what to do with his own hands, gripping the couch in nervousness.

Changbin seemed to find it amusing, as the older pulled back with a chuckle, leaving Felix subtly gasping for air, and the older brushed the blonde's lower lip with his thumb before going back to lying comfortably on his side of the couch.

"There, now you can proudly say that you've had your first kiss when anyone asks," murmured Changbin with a small smile, and Felix gulped, before turning back towards the laptop.

He had no idea what was going on the screen though, and he would have to watch the whole episode once more, since until the end he just couldn't concentrate on the plot - the person next to him too distracting, the kiss they just shared too much for his brain to catch up on.

And it seemed that Changbin thought of the whole thing casually, even though Felix's heart seemed close to jumping out of his chest.

Later that night, when Changbin left to his own house, Felix found himself standing in front if the mirror, his fingers lightly touching his lips as he thought, again and again, about the first kiss he's had - and now, as his cheeks stubbornly just wouldn't stop blushing, he knew why everyone made it such a big deal.

And as he fell asleep, buried deep underneath the blankets, he suddenly remembered that Changbin was allergic to cocoa, so he had no reason to buy any chocolates for himself, but he drifted off before he could think more about why the older would do it anyway.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this while half asleep, and i really don't have the energy to beta it, i'm sorry  
> it's also more of a filler chapter, but i hope that it's okay?

"So, why did you send me that ominous text telling me to come here before ignoring all of my calls?"

Felix glanced at his best friend, the taller boy standing in his doorstep with a glare directed at the younger, even though his eyes shined through with hidden concern. Hyunjin tapped his foot impatiently, adding an angry sounding, "because I swear to God, if you just made me all worried for no reason, I'll kick your entire ass."

The blonde smiled sheepishly, his hand ruffling his hair in a nervous manner.

"Can I... explain to you everything inside?" he muttered, avoiding the holder's eyes for a few seconds, before looking up at him shyly.

"I just... I don't know what to do," he confessed, and that was all Hyunjin needed to hear, his glare softening instantly and he put his hand on Felix's shoulder comfortingly.

"Tell me when you're ready."

Felix just smiled at him in thanks.

≫≫

They were in Felix's room now, both staring up at the ceiling in silence. Hyunjin sat on the edge of Felix's bed, dangling his legs in the air, occasionally bumping them into the blonde's chest as the boy lied, sprawled on the floor right next to the bed - and he didn't really react besides waving his hand dismissively at the other.

Felix made some hot chocolate for the both of them, and Hyunjin clutched his cup in his hands, puffing out some breaths at the still too hot drink every now and then, as his own cup was left on the counter, easily forgotten.

It was comfortable, and Felix was glad that his best friend patiently waited for him to find the right words when he needed to - they liked to play impatient, throwing teasing remarks at each other with sly smirks but when the situation was actually serious, they let the other take as much time as they wanted to. And Felix had to take a lot of it.

Yesterday's events were still fresh in his mind, reminding him about its existence every time he finally managed to forget about them for a few minutes, and the kiss, the casual kiss they shared didn't fail to replay itself in his head when he as mush as glanced at the box of chocolates, lying on the table in the kitchen, mocking him for the feelings he wasn't able to control.

"Yesterday... Changbin came to visit me, you know," he mumbled, not meeting his friend's eyes, nibbling at his lip slightly as he thought of how to describe what happened, "and he... I," he licked his lips, his gaze glaring holes into the poor wall when he couldn't find the right words.

"It's okay, take your time," interrupted Hyunjin, and Felix dared to steal a glance at the other boy, who smiled at him softly before taking a sip of his drink, making a satisfied noise at the fact that it finally was just the perfect temperature.

The blonde took a deep breath, realising it slowly, then continued, "we... we watched the drama I recently started, you know, the one I told you about like two days ago, and then he just asks out of nowhere, like, about me not having my first kiss yet, right? So the stupid me was all like, well are you offering me a big old smooch?"

Hyunjin snorted into his cup, carefully putting it down onto the little nightstand, before falling back onto the bed in a fit of giggles.

"No way," he wheezed out as he patted his cheeks, which hurt from the histerical laughter, and Felix just let out a whine in response.

"Unfortunately, yes way," he murmured, hiding his face in his hands. Hyunjin chuckled at the sight, kicking the blonde's shoulder lightly to get his attention again.

"So? Did he give you that smooch?" he teased, a grin on his lips, making Felix whine once more.

"He did, he actually did," that's when his gaze fell back onto the ceiling, and he let out a sigh, "though it was just a, casual peck or something. He didn't think of it too much and yet, here I am, a literal mess as I'm questioning my own feelings."

Hyunjin stood up, just to crouch next to his best friend, his grin disappearing as fast as it appeared, now looking at the younger in concern.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, making the other glance up at him sadly.

"I don't know," he confessed, and the older lied down, wrapping his arms around Felix, who quickly hugged him back, burying his face in Hyunjin's neck.

"I just can't stop thinking about it. I don't know, it's weird," he bit his lip, unsure what to say, before continuing, "at first, I just... I think I might've had a slight crush on him from the begging, honestly. But it was small, and it was harmless at the time. And yet, after he kissed me, I... I just, I wanted. I wanted to pull him closer again, to run my hands through his hair, to press kisses on his cheeks, to tell him just how much he made my heart race, and that's. That's not what I'm supposed to feel, not to a friend. I feel like, if he knew about it all, he wouldn't be as comfortable around me anymore, and I don't want to lose him."

He felt Hyunjin's hold on him tighter as the older brought him closer, petting his head comfortingly. His lips started to tremble just the slightest bit, but he hid it by burying his face even more.

"It's okay," whispered the older, and Felix couldn't help but sniff.

"Is it really?" he mumbled into Hyunjin's shirt, and the taller pulled back, so that they could make eye contact, not a trace of laughter in his gaze.

"It really is," he insisted, and Felix just nodded in reply, before cuddling to his best friend once again.

"Can we stay like that for some time?" he murmured, his voice deep and full of hope, sounding so small and scared in comparison to his usually more cheerful tone.

"Sure," responded Hyunjin, brushing Felix's blonde locks gently while staring at the younger with a soft smile, and Felix couldn't help but smile back, although a little bit tiredly.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, unbeta'ed fkshdksh

_So beautiful, beautiful,_

"You're more beautiful than anyone else," Felix murmured along to the song, the soft tune filling his room. The only other sound that could be heard at that hour was the quiet ticking of the clock, which read exactly 3.41 am, and the blonde stared at it blankly, wondering if he'll get to finally drift off to sleep that night or not.

It happened pretty frequently - him not being able to fall asleep. He wasn't sure when exactly it started happening, it just... did. And now it bit him in the ass every time he tried to get some good rest. He was already used to it, sure, but that didn't make it any less frustrating.

_Oh I miss you, I miss you_  
_Seeing myself standing alone in the mirror_  
_It's strange and I'm afraid, I need you_

His gaze slowly shifted to his phone, the thing not stopping the song even though if looks could kill it would be already aflame.

The thing is, the lyrics were just, too much. They hit too close to home, and as much as it made him fall in love with the song before, now it just made him feel bitter.

_Even the loneliness that I'm feeling_  
_Are traces of you_  
_So I force my eyes shut and am enduring through this day-_

The music ended suddenly as he yanked out the earphones that blared the offending sound just seconds ago, and now the room was strangely quiet, so unfamiliar that it made him feel uncomfortable. The clock interrupted it, though, filling the silence with it's even ticking, but it didn't make Felix feel any better - if only, he just felt more out of place than he did seconds before.

Finally, he shook his head before quickly standing up. There was a stray hoodie lying on his desk, and if he squinted he could recognize it as the one Changbin handed him that one evening.

He threw it on before he could give it any more thought.

He had this small habit of his from restless nights, and he was doing it tonight as well - when he figured out that sleep just wasn't going to come, he left the house, just to wander around the small town.

Sure, some people would think it was stupid of him, but he liked the coldness of the air, and how empty the streets were, contrary to the day. It had a lonely feeling about it, but it also left Felix feeling kind of comforted. Just, there was something about the way that everything seemed frozen in the night that helped him calm down.

So before he left, he put on a jacket and a random pair of shoes, a small smile pulling at his lips as he stared up at the moon.

Most of the houses had their lights turned off, only desperate students and insomniacs were up at this hour, and even though he was exhausted, it was actually kind of nice - the knowledge that most of the people were asleep, nobody to see him do stupid things outdoors, his actions hidden by the dark.

It's not like he did anything illegal, no, he just felt there was something... magical, at night.

And he enjoyed it to no end.

So as he wandered around, and his legs led him ahead, he didn't even notice when he ended up at the park.

It wasn't a small place, it was actually so spacious that when the sun was high on the sky he felt anxious because of how open it was - but now, it only meant he had more space to look at, and he walked slowly as his gaze shifted from a star to another.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?"

A familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts, coated in amazement and yet there was a small hint of tiredness. He whipped his head into the direction of the voice, and he barely could see a silhouette of a person sitting on a bench. It didn't take him much to realize exactly who it was, though.

"Who?" he asked, even though he could tell the other didn't even spare a glance at him, their head held high as the person stared up into the sky, their face illuminated by the faint light coming from the moon.

"The stars," replied Changbin, and Felix noted how the older didn't even bother to hide the adoration from his voice.

He looked at them again, before taking a few steps closer to the other and sitting beside him.

"I guess they are," he murmured, and Changbin just let out a deep hum, a comfortable silence falling between them as the two sat on the bench, their gazes stuck on the stars. And as much as Felix liked stars, Changbin seemed to be absolutely in love with them. 

The blonde glanced at the older from the corner of his eye, admiring the boy's expression, the clear, pure emotions written on his face, and he smiled unconsciously. While stars were pretty nice in his opinion, he liked the moon more, finding it more captivating - and as it shined down at them, gently brushing Changbin with its light, the boy reminded him of it. 

No matter how cheesy it sounded, he realized that the boy was just like the moon he loved so much, and he guessed that he could be Changbin's stars, if only the other ever asked him to.

"Can I draw on you?" suddenly asked the older, and Felix noticed that he was looking back at him, so he quickly avoided his eyes with a flustered cough.

"I mean... sure? If you'd like to?" he murmured, and Changbin grinned at him, pulling out a marker from his jeans. He grabbed Felix's wrist, pulling it closer towards himself, and he pressed it to his skin, the blonde scrunchig his nose at the weird sensation.

"Do you believe in aliens?" asked Changbin, and Felix glanced at him, before his gaze went back onto the sky.

He nibbled at his lip in thought, trying to come up with the correct words to reply.

"I'm not sure, honestly," he whispered, shifting in his seat, careful not to bother Changbin in his drawing, before he continued, "I mean, the entire world is so big, so how could it be possible that we're the only ones alive in it? I don't mean, like, the kind of stuff that you see in science fiction or horror movies, just. You know, I just think that something must be somewhere, out there."

Changbin hummed, a satisfied smile appearing on his lips, and Felix felt that he said the right thing.

"Honestly, I've always loved space," murmured Changbin, and Felix wasn't sure where the sudden statement come from, but he wasn't going to complain, so he sinked deeper into the seat and listened to what the older had to say.

"Since I was a kid, I just felt this weird fascination with everything related to stars. I could listen to people talk about the sun and our solar system for hours, and I found myself sometimes sitting in my room, wondering if there's something out there."

The boy interrupted himself, sitting a few inches closer, before putting his fingers on the younger's jaw and pulling the other to face him. Felix's breath stuttered as Changbin raised the marker higher, gently pressing it into the blonde's cheeks, slowly painting stars and constellations.

"When I last saw my family, I was still the kid in love with the stars," continued Changbin, and suddenly Felix felt the need to ask what happened with his family, but something told him not to do it, like it wasn't his place to take on the topic.

The older took a deep breath, before slowly releasing it.

"It's already been seven years, and at first I was so devastated that I couldn't find it inside me to love the stars anymore," he confessed, as his fingers connected every little freckle.

"But you know, something made me realize that I couldn't mourn my whole life. So now I'm here," he glanced up at the sky, pulling his hand away from Felix, and the younger couldn't help but miss the warmth. Changbin smiled softly, his gaze falling back onto Felix, "and I love the stars as much as I used to."

Felix smiled back, inching closer just a little, before wrapping an arm around the older and pulling him into a hug.

"I'm glad you do," he murmured as he burrowed his face under Changbin's chin, feeling more than hearing the chuckle the other let out in response.

And as Changbin hugged him back, Felix couldn't help but feel that if this was what he fell asleep to every night, he wouldn't have so much trouble drifting off to sleep anymore.

But Changbin pulled back just a little, waving the marker he used minutes ago in front of the blondes face.

"Your turn?" he asked, and Felix just shook his head in reply.

When Changbin traced his skin with the marker, he made it stand out more, the little stars and galaxies now adorning his hands and cheeks making him more beautiful than he thought he was.

But as he saw the way that Changbin's eyes twinkled in the light, he found himself thinking that the older was already so beautiful that he didn't even dare to touch the masterpiece be was.

Instead, he just made a comment about him not being even able to draw a stick figure, and to his relief, Changbin didn't pry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw yeah this chapter is kind of a reference to my other fic lmao


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't really a full chapter but this is all i could come up with lately and i didn't want to make y'all wait any more :'))  
> also WHAT DO U ALL THINK ABOUT I AM NOT BECAUSE I HONESTLY TEARED UP IN CLASS WHEN IT CAME OUT, CHAN'S BLACK HAIR KILLED ME OK A Y

After that, they went to Changbin's house to sleep. At first, Felix wasn't convinced, murmuring a few comments about him not wanting to be a bother, but Changbin insisted, saying that his house was closer and that he already spend way too much time at Felix's house. Which, okay, Felix was wounded, and he didn't even hide the pout pulling at his lips. He stared at the older, mouthing a silent _I'm hurt, you're hurting me, hyung_ , but Changbin just jabbed at his shoulder lightly, and the younger didn't complain any more.

And Changbin was actually right, Felix noted, the older's house wasn't that far - not as far as Felix's own at least. The walk there only took them somewhere around ten minutes, even though it probably would only take them up to five at most, but they were so engrossed in the stars that they didn't even notice just how slow they were walking.

As Felix didn't know where exactly Changbin lived, the other had to grab his wrist and pull him a few steps back when they got there. And as the blonde glanced at the house, he was, well, kind of shocked.

It was definitely bigger than Felix's house, and seemed way more fancy as well. He shot the shorter boy a startled look, to which Changbin just replied with a shrug, like he was able to tell exactly what Felix was thinking.

"Hey, it's not like it's all mine. Chan lives here as well," he explained, opening the door just the slightest bit and glancing inside. It was quiet, and none of the lights were on.

"Is Chris asleep?" wondered Felix aloud, hoping that they wouldn't wake the older up if he was, but his words made Changbin snort.

"Him? No way. I literally have to drag him to bed, since he works on the music all the time. He's probably in the studio right now, so you don't have to worry about waking him up," he hummed as he took off his shoes, gesturing to Felix to do the same, before he turned on the lights and looked around the room.

Felix quickly followed, putting his shoes next to Changbin's own, and he subtly glanced up, wondering just how rich was the other, really. His empty wallet teared up a little in his pocket, but he paid it no mind.

"So, sleep?" murmured Changbin, making Felix realize why they were there in the first place, and the blonde nodded sheepishly.

And as he followed Changbin like a lost puppy into a smaller room, that was still bigger than his own, he only realized now what they were doing. He quickly glanced around, noting how even though the room was spacious it still somehow looked small and cozy. There were photographs and various pages covered in writing scattered across the room, and the only source of light were the fairy lights hanging above the single bed, bathing the room in purple hues.

Changbin fell onto the bed wordlessly, crawling on one side, his back turned to the wall as he stared up at Felix patiently.

The blonde didn't notice it, though, his gaze slowly scanning the place.

On one of the walls there were painted some lyrics that he was pretty sure he already heard before, the handwriting rushed but it only made the words look better in Felix's opinion. Next to it was a trail of stars, painted simply as either dots or crosses, fitting the whole vibe of the room perfectly.

He also noticed a pair of shoes thrown carelessly in the corner, a lone chair and a familiar grey hoodie laying on top of it, recognizing it as the one he gave the older. The fact made him smile unconsciously, and he finally looked at Changbin, the other grinning back at him just the slightest bit.

And he didn't know why, but suddenly it all felt right, and he took a few steps to the bed, sitting on it carefully before falling onto his back next to the other boy.

"It's nice. Your room, I mean. I really like the painting on the wall," he commented as he turned to face Changbin, the holder's smile only widening at his words, and Felix suddenly felt his breath leaving his lungs as he stared at the other.

Changbin's eyes reflected the light from above in such a way that Felix couldn't tear is gaze away, his hair falling onto the pillow in a soft wave.

Felix reached out, brushing away the dark locks that fell on top of Changbin's eyes, that seemed to sparkle even more at the action.

"Thanks," murmured Changbin, before adding, "I painted it myself."

Felix let out a light gasp, his hand coming to rest in between them.

"You're amazing," he blurted out without thinking, and he could feel his cheeks heat up even though Changbin just kept looking at him with that soft glint in his eye.

"Aren't you over exaggerating a little?" replied the boy with a chuckle.

Though Felix kept his mouth shut this time, not trusting his own voice, as with every minute they spend just lying here he could feel his heart beating faster and faster, and the blush on his cheeks just wouldn't disappear for some reason.

And the fact that after the few seconds of silence Changbin crawled a little closer, putting his hands around the blonde as his head fell under Felix's chin with a satisfied hum.

"Night," whispered the older, his breath hitting Felix's neck in soft puffs and Felix couldn't help but feel even more flustered. He cautiously hugged the other back, as he worried about falling asleep, but in the end it didn't take him too long to drift off, the warm embrace helping him calm down. And as he let himself smile just the slightest, his eyes closed on their own accord.

He thought he felt Changbin's grip around him tighten a little bit, but he wasn't sure, as the next thing he knew he was already asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fjgsjdgs sorry for this word vomit omg  
> once again unbeta'ed ><

Felix woke up to a gentle hum, a soft whisper grazing his cheeks as a pair of hands tangled in his hair, brushing it in a tender manner.

He let out a sigh, burying deeper into the blankets, not reacting to the fond chuckle he could hear coming from above him.

"Get up, Chan's making us breakfast," murmured the voice and Felix reluctantly let his eyes open, glancing at Changbin from the corner of his eye, the holder's face merely a few inches away from his own. Changbin smiled at him in amusement, making Felix pout just the slightest bit.

"Do I have to get up, though?" asked the blonde, jutting out his lower lip even more and blinking a few times to perfect the look, but Changbin wasn't touched.

"If you don't, I'm eating your pancakes," he said with a wink, before power walking out of the room, leaving the blonde in a haste to get up. But Felix's legs tangled in the sheets and he ended up fallind down onto the floor with a chocked curse, before shouting at Changbin various threats if he even dares to touch the food.

When he finally managed to stumble into the kitchen, which admittedly took him an embarrassingly long amount of time to find, he was surprised to see there not only Changbin and Chris, but also Jisung. The youngest of the trio was talking animatedly, Felix wasn't sure exactly about what, but he caught some random words that sounded like some kind of a poem - but he didn't dare ask, instead sliding into the seat next to Changbin and giving Chris a thankful grin.

"Nice to see you're finally up, sleeping beauty," greeted Jisung with a teasing smile, that didn't waver despite the glare that Felix shot him, nor the murmured _shut up_ he got in response.

"Your hair's a mess," commented Changbin out of the blue, making Felix blush in embarrassment as the younger ran his hand through the blonde locks. On the other side of the table, Jisung snorted at Felix's appearance, and the blonde kicked him in the shin, just hard enough for the other to wince.

"Anyway, I was talking with Minho lately, yeah?" Jisung suddenly straightened in his seat, an excited grin pulling at his lips as he spoke, "and he said he's gonna confess to Jeongin soon!"

Felix couldn't help but gasp, the other two sharing a shocked glance before they both turned back to Jisung. The boy seemed satisfied to be the one to tell them, and he wiggled his eyebrows to get the point across.

"You're joking, right?" murmured Chris, Changbin just humming in agreement, as his mouth was too stuffed with pancakes to actually say anything. But Jisung just shook his head in reply.

"He's actually going to do it. He even asked me for advice on how to ask him out!" the boy announced with a proud glint in his eyes, and Changbin made a show of looking him over, clearly unconvinced, quickly gulping down any food he was munching on before.

"Why would he ask you, out of all the people available, for love advice?" he muttered, ignoring Jisung's betrayed yelp, "poor guy is going to get ditched."

Felix snorted at the words, his hand currently holding the pancake he was bringing to his face now stuck in front of his mouth as he giggled uncontrollably, Chris hiding his own chuckle with a fake cough. Jisung looked at the two with the expression of a kicked puppy, jutting out his bottom lip a little, just because.

"I hate this fucking family," he murmured as he fake sobbed, sinking further into his seat.

≫≫

Unfortunately, Felix had work that day, so he had to reluctantly leave the trio to their own shenaningas. Which, okay, he usually didn't mind going to the coffee shop, but as he looked at Changbin bickering with Jisung just like siblings would, with Chris nagging at them in the background, he found himself unwilling to do so.

He remembered why he liked Jisung so much - even though they couldn't see each other that much lately, their personalities fit perfectly, making them the sunshine, and yet mischevious duo, as Minho called them once.

It was fun while it lasted, even though Jisung has been kind of busy now - with what, Felix wasn't sure, but he did see the boy hanging out with either Chris or Changbin a lot. Sometimes, he let himself wonder what the trio was up to, but he didn't think that out right asking was a good idea. He was just too much of a mess to do it.

Felix also got to make some jokes in English with Chris - mostly making fun of Changbin, as he was the only person in the room who didn't speak this language, Jisung laughing his ass off at the suspicious look on the older's face. It was clear that the other suspected them of friendly shit talking him, but he didn't have any proof so he just stayed quiet.

And Felix might have slipped in a comment or two about how cute Changbin looked today, or just how adorable his smile was.

And Chris chuckled at him in amusement as Jisung stared him down with a shit eating grin on his lips, making Changbin so interested at this point that he actually asked them what they were talking about. Before the other's could say anything though, Felix quickly jabbed at him with a _I said your chin looks like a dorrito_ , making Chan's eyebrows shot up as he contained in his laughter and Changbin hit him in the arm. Softly. Because after all, it was Changbin, and Felix couldn't help but smile at just how gentle he could be at times, despite acting all tough.

But now he was back in the café, glaring at a single cup of coffee standing on the counter. He wondered if Changbin was ever going to actually order anything from him. Probably not, for some unknown to Felix reason. Because hey, it's not like his coffee making skills were that bad, right?

He glared at the cup even more, and the cup just stood there, unmoving, like the inanimate object it was.

That didn't stop him from feeling like it was mocking him, though.

"Are you thinking of a perfect murder or are you going to ask that cup out?" he heard Seungmin snicker as the boy leaned on the counter next to him, the boy's attention fixed on him, and the blonde just furrowed his brows further.

"Don't you have anything to do?" muttered Felix, not hiding the bitterness in his voice, "go bother Hyunjin or whatever."

He ignored the offended huff Seungmin let out in reply.

"He's busy babying Jeongin," whined the younger, before slumping his shoulders just like Felix was.

"Then just act all emo with me, if you want to. I don't know, I just feel really bitter for some reason."

Seungmin glanced at him from the corner of his eye, before shifting so that he was now facing the other.

"Do you want to rant about bitchy customers?" asked the boy innocently, and Felix sighed, nodding his head. Seungmin moved a little closer, letting Felix's head fall on top of his shoulder.

And so that's how they spend their shift, complaining about any rude people they had to put up with lately. It was pretty therapeutic, Felix had to admit. So later, as he left the shop, he thanked the taller boy, Seungmin just replying with a smile.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i even beta my fics anymore sigh

Felix wasn't amused.

It was a pretty late hour, 2 am to be exact, and as he couldn't fall asleep once again, he went to the kitchen to eat something - only to notice that it was actually empty of any food.

So, being the optimistic person he was - at times - he decided to go to the nearest grocery store, in hopes of finding something tasty, and also maybe, just maybe, seeing a certain short boy with his own weirdly mysterious charm.

But, to his disappointment, Changbin wasn't actually there.

So he cursed himself in his mind before trying to convince himself that he wasn't hoping to see the older, not at all. The bitter feeling didn't pass though.

So here he was now, standing alone in the shop that was currently empty of any other customers, the cashier half asleep by the counter. Not only that, but Felix also somehow managed to put his shirt on backwards, and he scrunched his nose at it, swatting at the stray locks of hair falling into his eyes.

His stomach grumbled, clearly hungry, but as he looked around, he found nothing that he was particularly in a mood for. His brows knitted as he walked through the isle, thoughts wandering to weird places, and he felt himself dissociating just a little.

It was weird. The whole shopping at night was weird. It all looked familiar, even though the feeling it left was like he didn't know this place at all. The silence wasn't what he associated with this store - usually he went here right before or after his work, and at those hours it was still at least a bit filled with people, maybe not so much that it would be called a crowd, but still enough to make the place feel lively.

But the silence that met him was... just plain strange.

Not that he was going to complain, of course, it had this, actually kind of nice, vibe about it. It reminded him of these aesthetic posts he saw on Tumblr every now and then.

He snorted quietly at the thought.

As he turned the corner, he heard some shuffling, and he carefully glanced at what was making the noise - or rather, who was doing it.

"Chris?"

The said boy startled, turning around quickly, but his face lit up with a smile as he saw who just spoke up.

"Sup, Felix? Didn't expect to see you here," he greeted, waving his right hand a bit, the other full of instant noodles, that Felix glanced at, his eyebrows high in amusement.

"Why are you buying so many of these?" he blurted out without any more thought, and Chris smiled sheepishly in reply, brushing his neck with his free hand.

"I stayed up composing some music and you know... I kind of... forgot to eat anything in the last six hours?" the older winced at his own words, before continuing, "so, I just thought that maybe if I bought a bunch of them I'd remember that I have them with me."

Felix took a few steps closer, taking one of the few noodles from the shelf that Chris haven't snatched already.

"You better," he murmured, earning himself a soft chuckle from the other.

The thing is, Felix noted, Chris always seemed to take care of his friends, as he was older than most of them and some kind of a parent friend, apparently. He even babied Woojin sometimes, even though Chris was younger than him, but Woojin didn't seem to mind that.

But sometimes, just sometimes, Chris forgot to actually take care of his own self. And the fact only made Felix worry, so he promised to himself to check up on the older every now and then from now on.

"You need any help with those?" asked the blonde, as he saw Chris reaching for yet another pack of noodles, the ones in his arms already shifting just a little bit, threatening to fall. He could see that the older was ready to decline the offer, when one of the packs slipped from his grasp, Felix grabbing it midflight, making Chris smile sheepishly once more.

"Actually, yeah, it'd be pretty nice if you did."

≫≫

They said their goodbyes as they left the shop, Chris literally drowning in the instant noodles, that Felix offered to help him bring to his studio but Chris declined, saying that he was fine. Apparently, after he got some bags for all of the packs of noodles from the half asleep cashier, he was _good enough to drag them there by himself_. Felix wasn't convinced.

But Chris was stubborn, and Felix was too tired to push further, so he let the older have his way, this time at least.

He slowly walked back home, his earphones tangled on his neck, as he thought that he'd rather listen to just how silent the town was at this hour, than to his music this one time. Every now and then, a stray cat passed him by, its quiet footsteps patting down the street, a faint sound of a motorbike rushing in the distance.

He smiled to himself, the peaceful atmosphere making him feel at home.

It took him a little longer than usual to get to his house, but he didn't mind, enjoying the walk as he stared up at the moon, its gentle shine suddenly reminding him of one specific person.

He opened the door to his house, slipping the shoes off his feet and throwing them in the general direction of where he usually leaves them, and he went to the kitchen to make himself the noodles he bought. 

He cursed at himself for not washing the dishes that evening, as he had to no clean pots at the moment, washing just one grumpily, before filling it with water and putting it on the stove. As he waited for it to boil, he took out his phone, scrolling through Tumblr, letting himself smile every now and then as he saw his mutuals bickering with each other, leaving a small comment that earned him a whine from one and a bunch of hearts from the other.

But as he scrolled further, a certain post caught his attention, _deleted 3racha songs_ written in big, bold letters. He let out a hum, putting his phone down as he decided to check them out when he finishes making his meal.

It didn't take him long, and he brought it to his room, taking a seat by his desk.

There weren't that much of them, but as he slowly slurped the noodles he found himself grinning at some of them, or his eyes tearing up at others. Finally, he found two solo songs, respectively by J.One and SpearB.

And as he stared at the words, he decided to listen to SpearB's first. Just because he was in love with the guy's voice. He also apologized to J.One in his mind.

But as he listened to the lyrics, a realization suddenly struck him, making him choke on the noodles.

_I'm just saying, what if,_

He stared at the food in silence, letting the song finish, as his thoughts rushed through his mind in a wild mess, and his gaze slowly dropped to his phone.

After a few seconds, he reached out to it, typing out a text to Hyunjin, deleting it a few times and starting once again, just to finally putting it as calmly and simply as he could in his dazed state.

2 hours ago

_**romeo** changed their name to **ivy**_   
_**ivy** changed your name to **harley**_

now

  
**harley:** hyunjin  
 **harley:** i think we know 3racha more personally than we thought we did 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's up i'm really dissatisfied with how this chapter turned out, but i don't think i'd actually be able to make it, you know, suck less fkhsjd  
> also i didn't want y'all to wait too long so here, take this, please don't fight me btw

"I ran the whole way here from my house, so this better be good," huffed out Hyunjin instead of a greeting as he leaned on the counter in Felix's kitchen, breathing heavily.

"You're in such a bad shape, dude," commented the blonde, pulling out the left over orange juice from his fridge, that he was pretty sure he hasn't seen in the last two days. He sniffed it cautiously, and deemed it fresh enough to not get any food poisoning later.

"Still better than you," replied Hyunjin, and Felix clutched his chest, giving him a betrayed look.

"I'm hurt," he whined, before reaching out for two clean cups for himself and his best friend, the older boy glancing at the offered to him juice suspiciously. He did take it, in the end, and he lifted his right eyebrow as he took a few sips.

"Anyway, so what's with the 3racha drama?" he asked, making Felix groan as the boy ran his hand through his hair.

"I found their deleted songs, right? And there were two solos, so I listened to SpearB's one, and..." he trailed off, avoiding eye contact, before muttering, "those were the same lyrics that Changbin showed me that one time."

Hyunjin choked on his juice, carefully putting the cup down on the counter, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

"So, you're telling me, that you think that this SpearB, who you've been swooning over for the last few months, is actually Changbin?"

Felix nodded wordlessly, earning himself a sigh in return.

"Can I listen to the song?" asked the older further, and the blonde shot him a confused look. Hyunjin sighed once again.

"So I can tell if it's his voice, you idiot."

"Ah," and that was all it took for Felix to pull his phone out and hand it with his earphones to the other. As he waited for Hyunjin to put them on, he drummed his fingers on the counter nervously, nibbling at his lip in thought.

The whole situation seemed so unreal, he had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't actually a dream.

Because, hey, his favourite rapper?

Actually being the guy he has a crush on?

Did that mean he's been unknowingly confessing his undying love towards 3racha in front of the said band? Oh, God.

"Stop dissociating, I can hear your freaking out even with earphones in," suddenly commented Hyunjin, making Felix startle, and the blonde shot his best friend a glare.

"You haven't even listened that much of the song!" he tried to defend himself, but Hyunjin just glanced at him, unamused.

"Literally two seconds were enough for me to tell that this voice was Changbin," he muttered, before adding a little louder, "seriously, how fucking oblivious can you be?"

Felix just pursed his lips in reply.

But then something clicked.

He groaned, putting his head in his hands, ignoring the way Hyunjin stared at him, mock sobbing in a dramatic fashion.

"CB97 is fucking Australian, how didn't I connect the dots?"

Hyunjin made a strangled sound, and when Felix glanced up at him, the older was already looking at him with disbelief written across his face.

"You're lucky that you're cute, otherwise nobody would like to date you," he muttered, and Felix yelped, betrayed, before kicking the other in the shin.

"I hate you so much," he whined, as Hyunjijn reached out for his unfinished drink.

"The feeling's mutual, you idiot."

≫≫

"So, are you gonna do anything about it?"

Felix glanced at Hyunjin from the corner of his eye, the question hanging in the air for a few long minutes as he tried to come up with an answer.

The last two hours they spent with hurried explanations ( _these songs were deleted, Hyunjin, how could I have known that he showed me an actual, existing song?_ ), new discoveries ( _so that's why Jisung was looking at me so weirdly when we mentioned 3racha in front of him for the first time!_ ) and muffled strings of curses.

After that, Hyunjin helped Felix calm down from a major breakdown and general embarrassment, and now they ended up cuddling in Felix's bed, surrounded by half empty bags of chips and a barely touched Pepsi. They both scrunched their noses at the drink, followed by a hiss of _why the fuck would you buy Pepsi instead of Coca Cola?_ and an angry sounding explanation of _there wasn't any left in the store_.

"I don't... think so," he murmured, still unsure of what to do of the situation he found himself in. Hyunjin turned to face him, and Felix unconsciously followed, shooting him a confused glance.

"No, nothing? You're just gonna pretend you don't know?"

Felix winced at how his best friend made it sound, but nodded nonetheless.

"I don't know, it's just... wouldn't they tell me if they were comfortable with me knowing about it?" he interrupted himself, taking a deep breath, before continuing, just a little bit quieter, "If Changbin isn't comfortable with that... I don't want to, I don't know, scare him away? If he wanted me to know, I'm sure he'd just tell me. Maybe he needs some time?"

He saw Hyunjin nibbling at his lips, visibly mulling it over, and he looked away a few seconds later. It might've been a little foolish of him to think so, but that didn't stop him. He just, didn't want to make any of them uncomfortable, if he hasn't done it yet with his obvious adoration towards the band.

"I guess you might be right," whispered the older boy, making Felix look back at him, surprised.

"I am?"

Hyunjin cracked up a smile at his confused tone, before crawling a little closer and wrapping his arms around his best friend.

"Yeah, there are times when you're not as stupid as you usually are," he teased, earning himself a betrayed huff from the blonde.

Falling asleep after that wasn't hard, and they drifted off with smiles on their faces, buried next to each other deep under the blankets.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy this fic has fanart now!! i actually can't believe this, but you can check it out [here](https://isabelarmuelles.tumblr.com/post/171707693833/i-stayed-up-composing-some-music-and-you-know-i) and [here](https://isabelarmuelles.tumblr.com/post/171847058898/why-the-fuck-would-you-buy-pepsi-instead-of-coca)!! make sure to give it a lot of love!! <33

Going back to the coffee shop after the revelation just felt... weird.

There wasn't any better word Felix could think of as he stood by the counter, smiling awkwardly at every customer that came in and trying to make some small talk with the usuals. Seungmin was yet to come, just like most of his other friends, and he couldn't help but get distracted from work every time something reminded him of any of the trio he recently found out was actually his favorite band.

He nibbled at his lip as he made a cup of coffee for some old lady that he saw for the first time enter this café, and he almost messed up the drink, remembering just in time not to add any sugar, as the customer requested.

He quickly finished, handing the coffee to the woman, who took it without any reaction, before leaving the shop. Felix just stared after her bitterly. It's not that what she did was extremely rude or anything, it just hasn't happened to him in a long time since the café was full of people he knew and not even getting a simple smile in thanks wouldn't happen as often as it did when he first started the job.

The morning shift was slow, barely any customers staying in, most of them leaving as fast as they got their daily dose of caffeine, and as Felix felt his eyes closing on their own accord, he suddenly remembered why he didn't work in the mornings that often. But, he was asked to, and the extra cash was enough for his broke ass to accept the offer.

He glanced at the cash register, his gaze wandering to the ceiling, before falling onto a specific table near the windows. The one that Changbin always sat in.

Before they got to know each other, Felix saw him pretty frequently at the table, writing something in his notebook like it was the only thing that mattered, and now he know why. He was writing lyrics, funnily enough, to his favorite songs.

Felix wondered if he wrote some of the text to Start Line while he was here. After all, the song came out after the other started visiting the café.

He shook his head quickly to hopefully rid himself from the thoughts of 3racha. They were his friends, some for a longer time than the other, and it wasn't like they suddenly became someone else. He knew them, and they knew him, just like they knew the fact that he was practically in love with their songs.

He just had to remember not to call them by their stage names.

As long as his mind doesn't start screaming _CB97! CB97!_ the moment Chris walks in, he should be okay.

"What you dissociating for?"

Seungmin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up at the younger boy currently leaning on the counter next to him, his hand stuck mid wave in a greeting.

"Glad to see you're finally here," replied Felix instead of answering the question, and Seungmin lifted his eyebrow at that but didn't comment on it.

"Yeah, it only took me like, forty minutes more than it should have. Apparently the guy riding the bus wasn't in a rush to get there if he was already late," he muttered, earning himself a pat on the shoulder from the blonde.

"That sucks," added in Felix, for the lack of anything else to say, and Seungmin just nodded with a bitter expression.

"It sure does."

They fell into silence, both staring sleepily at the closed door that just wouldn't open and reveal any new customers. Maybe some other time Felix would be happy about that, but now it only made him bored even more, and he leaned on Seungmin, putting his face on the taller boy's shoulder. Seungmin replied by wrapping his arm around the blonde, and they stayed like that, dozing off on their shift, which fortunately no one bothered to call them out on.

Felix wasn't sure how much time they spend like that, but the next thing he knew was that the bell above the door chimed, and they both looked up to find Chris and Changbin coming in with cheerful smiles on their lips. Seungmin waved them over, while Felix just grinned back at them nervously, because, oh God, no matter how much time he took to think about all of this, he still wasn't ready for actually seeing them.

"You want your usual, Chan?" asked Seungmin, already reaching out for a cup, and Chris just nodded, taking a seat in front of the counter. Felix avoided looking at them, instead locking his gaze onto the nearest wall with a nervous twitch of his of his lips. But he couldn't help but steal a glance at Changbin, and his breath got knocked out of his chest, and for some reason breathing suddenly felt like the hardest thing in the world.

It was still the same Changbin, with the same amused smile adorning his face, with the same deep dark eyes that stared back at him with a gentle shine in them. The way he pulled his cap low onto his head was still the same, and how it covered half of his face in a shadow. His posture was still as small yet as fierce as before, and the way he presented himself was still the same dark vibe, even though if you got to know him as much as Felix did you could tell it was just an illusion, hiding his surprisingly gentle nature.

He was still the same person he had a crush on for so long now, and the fact that he was actually also the one to make his heart race with just his own music made it feel even more real, like the simple crush was actually growing into something more complicated than that, making his cheeks flush at the realization.

"You don't want anything, right?" he asked the older, who just shook his head sheepishly with a smile, burrowing his hands deep into the pockets of his familiar, grey hoodie.

"Thanks, but I'll pass," he murmured, and Felix couldn't help but notice how his voice had the same raspness about it that he loved so much in his rap. He kicked himself mentally for not realizing this quicker.

From the corner of his eye he saw Seungmin handing Chris his drink, the smell of caramel filling the air, and he turned to the oldest with a small smile.

"So, did you eat all of the instant noodles you bought that time?"

Chris chuckled lightly as Seungmin and Changbin threw them both a confused look.

"Not yet," murmured Chris with a shrug.

Felix pursed his lips at the reply.

"Did you get any sleep then?" he asked further, squinting at the other, who rubbed his neck nervously.

"Not really?"

Felix sighed deeply, sharing a glance with Seungmin and he grabbed the coffee out of Chris's hands putting it in front of Changbin instead, ignoring the betrayed yelp Chris let out.

"Here, you're not getting any coffee until you don't get any rest," he explained, and Chris looked ready to complain, but the single glare from the blonde was enough to shut the older up.

Felix's gaze moved to Changbin then, the said boy humming in confusion as he glanced up from the coffee before him into Felix's eyes.

"You, you better make sure that he gets some sleep when you get back to your house," hissed the blonde, and Changbin just put his hands up in defence, without any complains.

"Will do, captain."

The comment made everyone around the counter chuckle, besides Chris of course, who sulked in the corner, staring at the coffee he didn't even get to taste with a pout on his lips, even though he didn't do anything to actually get it back.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sick and projecting onto felix once again, that's all you need to know :^)  
> unbeta'ed, cause like always, i'm too tired to to it fjsgdj

The next day he woke up to a pounding ache in his head. He opened his eyes slowly, just to see the world spinning around him and immediately closing them once again. Everything felt like it was too much, the silence ringing in his ears, and he let out a muffled curse, burying deeper into his pillow, to hopefully hide himself from the world, safely under his blankets.

Today was the second day he was supposed to take the morning shift, but at this point he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to do so in his current state.

So without any more thought, he called in sick, asking Seungmin to cover for him and with that, he fell back asleep.

Sleep was always his go to strategy when he felt sick, hoping that when he wakes up he's gonna be back to health, which, honestly, not always worked as much as he'd like it to.

His dreams weren't peaceful, and everything was too hot, so unbearingly hot that he wanted to scream. He couldn't help but toss and turn in his sleep, unaware of anything that happened further than his bed.

What finally managed to wake him up were the distant curses, the voice familiar, but no matter how much he tried to recall who it belonged to he just couldn't remember the exact person. Opening his eyes to his empty room, he whined out as loudly as he could, which felt like barely a whisper, but the string of curses stopped and soon he heard footsteps growing nearer. The quiet tapping was a soothing change to the pounding in his head, and he couldn't help but sigh.

A few seconds later, the door to his room opened slightly, Changbin's head poking out to check on the blonde, but when the older saw Felix awake, he let out a gasp. The corners of Felix's lips turned up a little bit at the sound, but he couldn't even turn to face the other properly, deciding that staying in place would he the best for his head not to hurt even more.

Usually, he'd be surprised to see Changbin in his house without any earlier announcement, but honestly, he was too tired to feel anything other than gratitude that the older was here.

"I heard you were sick, so I came to take care of you," murmured Changbin shyly as he came in, seemingly feeling the need to explain himself, before adding a little louder, "because apparently you can't do that yourself."

Felix only huffed amusedly in reply. Yeah, that definitely was the same, old Changbin. The only question was, how did he even get inside?

"Hyunjin gave me the spare keys," added in the older, like he knew exactly what Felix was thinking, and the blonde nodded the slightest bit to show that he heard.

"The funniest thing is, he didn't even bother to explain much, just pushed me out of the coffee shop as soon as I came in and handed me the keys while saying that you stayed home because you're sick," he waved his hand with an exasperated eye roll, even though there was a shadow of a smile in his lips. Felix didn't know if he should thank or curse his best friend in his head, so he did both.

"That brat," croaked out the blonde, his voice hoarse from, what exactly? Felix had no idea, but it hurt like hell, and he winced at the tickling at the back of his throat.

Changbin's eyebrows furrowed at that, his expression changing into concern in less than a second, and Felix couldn't help but feel bad for making the older worry.

"Wait, I'm making you some soup right now," he announced, his gaze shifting to the side, "it might not be the best, but... I'm trying," then his hand wandered to the pocket of his hoodie, before he pulled out a few pills, handing them to the younger, "but now, here, these are for your throat. You should probably take a nap, I'll be back when the food's ready."

Felix glanced at the pills, taking them carefully, and smiling up at Changbin with as much cheerfulness he could muster at the moment.

"Thanks," he whispered, earning himself a soft chuckle in return, before the older left the room.

And after that, it didn't take him long to drift off, but this time at least, his sleep went undisturbed, only Changbin's sleeping voice flowing through his mind every now and again, and Felix wouldn't be surprised if the older indeed was singing - he did read somewhere that sometimes you could hear the things that were actually happening while you slept, so it was possible.

And as he woke up once again, Changbin was still in the kitchen, humming a tune under his breath. Felix didn't even consider waiting until the older was finished, instead slowly getting up and walking out of his room. He ignored the way the world seemed to spin around for a few seconds, before calming down.

When he came in, Changbin was facing the counter, too focused on not messing up to notice the blonde, who could only smile weakly at the sight. He took few wobbly steps ahead, before wrapping his arms around Changbin's waist and resting his head on the shorter boy's shoulder. Changbin seemed to startle a little, but he calmed down quickly, humming in amusement.

"It hurts," mumbled Felix, his voice still not back to how it usually sounded, instead a few tones lower. Changbin shifted a little, patting one of Felix's hands comfortingly.

"I know," he murmured, going back to making the soup, and adding as an afterthought, "anyway, did you notice how your voice sound even deeper now? I didn't think it would be possible at this point."

Felix chuckled a little breathlessly, glancing at Changbin's profile.

"I could challenge you to a rap battle with a voice like that," he joked, squeezing the boy's tummy a little bit, just because he could. Changbin huffed in reply, smacking his fingers lightly.

"I'm sure you'd win," commented the older, making Felix's smile widen, even though Felix was sure he'd sound like a stuttering chicken in comparison to Changbin's rap.

"Yeah," he hummed, taking a step back and sitting by the table, admiring the way Changbin's brows furrowed the slightest bit in concentration, or how he nibbled at his lip when he stared down at the boiling soup. Should soup boil this much? If Felix was to be honest, he was pretty sceptical about that, but that didn't stop him from sitting silently and let Changbin do as the boy wanted.

He sniffed, running his hand through his hair, before he touched his burning up forehead and hissed silently. It wasn't the best, okay.

"Hey, Changbin?" he mumbled, the other humming questioningly, his gaze still on the soup before him.

"Could you kiss it better?"

The older glanced at him, surprised, but his gaze soon softened. Felix smiled up at him shyly as the other huffed dramatically, before stepping in front of him and brushing the blonde bangs away with a grin, one of his eyebrows lifted high in amusement.

"You better not complain more after this, though."

And Felix had no idea that he could nod so quickly before, but as he did now, he shut his eyes for a second to get rid of the black dots appearing in his vision, earning himself a chuckle from Changbin.

Then, before he could even open his eyes once again, he felt a light pressure on his forehead. The older's lips were as soft as he remembered them to be, and he felt a blush creeping onto his neck at the thought. It lasted barely a second, before Changbin pulled back with a teasing grin.

"You're adorable," commented the boy, ruffling Felix's hair, and before the blonde could even respond he also left a little peck on top of his nose, stunning the younger into silence.

And just like that, Changbin, straightened back up, turning to the soup, and letting out a little gasp.

"I think it's ready!" he murmured excitedly, making Felix temporarily forget about what happened just seconds ago, even though he could still feel the ghost of Changbin's lips on his skin.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a second chapter that i wrote while sick and that i haven't bothered to beta! djsgdhs i'm sorry guys lmao

Being sick pretty much sucked, was what Felix finally decided as he lay in his bed with a pout. Not only was he bored, he couldn't even do anything about that.

The soup that Changbin made for him ended up being, let's be honest, it was horrible. But the way Changbin smiled at him with his eyebrows so high, waiting for his opinion, Felix just couldn't made the older sad. So he ate the entire thing. And then even some more. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but seeing Changbin happy was what mattered the most at the moment.

But after that, Changbin told him to go back to bed, and he couldn't help but whine at the words.

The older won the argument, of course, and that's how Felix ended up back in his bed, jutting out his lip in dissatisfaction at the other boy, who was currently sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through, what? Tumblr, maybe? Felix wasn't sure, he couldn't see his screen from his position, and Changbin glanced up at him, smiling at the sight of his pout.

"Oh, don't be so grumpy, you know it's best for you if you sleep it away," commented the boy, earning himself a muffled groan from Felix. Yeah, he had to admit, it made sense, but that didn't stop him from being stubborn.

"But I'm bored," he mumbled, wincing at the sound of his voice, before clearing his throat and adding a little louder, "besides, I can't sleep anyway, I think I've already slept more in the last twenty four hours than in my whole life."

Changbin snickered, locking his phone and stuffing it into the pocket of his jeans. He glanced back at Felix, then hid gaze shifted to dance around the bedroom, looking for something interesting enough to do.

"Do you want to play Monopoly, then?" Felix's gaze followed where Changbin was looking, seeing the box on one of the shelves, and he couldn't help but grin, murmuring an excited _yes_. He quickly sat up, ignoring the way that the world started to spin around him, instead trying to stand on his legs and immediately regretting his decision as he lost his balance.

Before he could hit the ground, though, an arm wrapped itself around his waist, bringing him closer and he looked up to see Changbin's face barely millimetres from his own, making him pause.

He cursed the blush that creeped on his cheeks as he stared at the older, who seemed to be as startled as him, based on his expression. His eyes wide opened, staring right back at him, and Felix couldn't take in much longer, so he tried to look away, but his gaze fell on Changbin's lips instead, and his breath stuttered in his chest. It made him remember his first kiss - their kiss, but it didn't mean much at the moment, at least that's what he guessed Changbin thought.

His hands itched to run his fingers through the older's dark locks, and he had to keep reminding himself not to do it.

He briefly wondered if Changbin would kiss him the same way he did that night, if only Felix pulled him in right now, but he quickly bit his own lip to get rid of these thoughts, before slowly inching away with an uneasy giggle.

"So, Monopoly it is?" he muttered, his voice a few tones higher despite his sickness, as he avoided the older's eyes put of nervousness. The atmosphere seemed awkward now, which never happened between them, and he took a few steps towards the shelf.

"Yeah," replied Changbin, and did his voice crack in the middle of the word or was Felix just paying too much attention, seeing things that weren't there?

At least, as they started the game, they silently agreed not to talk about it, and in no time jokes and teasing remarks filled the space like they always would.

≫≫

It only took him two more days to finally get back to health, which he was glad about, as he thought that if he had to spend any more time locked in his room he'd go crazy.

And as he sat with Woojin by the table in the corner of the coffee shop, where Seungmin showed him a few minutes ago, murmuring about him not being supposed to work yet, he couldn't help but think about how much he missed this place. Sure, he was only away for three days, but it felt like an eternity.

"So I've heard that Chan had to visit you when you were sick to stop you and Changbin from fighting," said Woojin instead of a greeting, his hand busy swirling a straw in the coffee cup in lazy circles, and Felix couldn't help but smile sheepishly at the other.

"Yeah," he mumbled, his hand scratching at the back of his neck, "we were playing monopoly."

The words made Woojin snort as he shook his head in amusement, murmuring a _that's reasonable_ under his breath, that made Felix join in with a light chuckle.

Talking with Woojin made him feel nostalgic, the thought making itself known at the back of his mind, and he couldn't help the comfortable smile pulling at his lips. The older was the first person - besides Hyunjin of course, but he doesn't count as they knew each other before that - that Felix got to know when he first moved in Korea. Woojin was a librarian, at the place that Felix tried working in at first, but he wasn't really made for it, so he changed his job barely a week in. Though, his friendship with Woojin didn't change, and he still came to visit the older at his work every now and again - even though lately, he didn't really have the time to. At least they had the same circle of friends, so seeing Woojin now wasn't as uncommon as it was when he first changed his jobs.

"How's Whispurr doing?" he asked, curious about the cat, as he hasn't seen him in, maybe even months? At this point, Felix wasn't even counting anymore.

He has to admit, when he first heard the cat's name, he almost collapsed from the laughter, while Woojin has to hold him up, satisfied of his own pun. But with time, he got used to it, and didn't even snicker at its mention anymore.

"Oh, he's good. He did wake me up by sleeping on my face today, though," the boy winced slightly, making Felix laugh out loud, before quickly apologizing to everyone currently sitting near their table.

"So he's as sneaky as I remember him to be, I get it. But you still love him, don't you?" he replied, and the corner of Woojin's lips turned up slightly as his gaze softened.

"Yeah, I do," he whispered, staring into his coffee that he still hasn't even taken a sip of, before adding, "even if I still feel like I have his fur inside my mouth."

And with that, Felix once again had to apologize to the other customers for being too loud in the one café that he ironically also worked in.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh omg i'm so sorry for not updating recently!! i've had this huge writer's block for like a whole month and i could barely write a few sentences without cringing at the result so i guess i had to take a break for some time. and i'm really really sorry, again, but i have no idea how often i'll be able to update this in the next week!! i just suddenly felt like writing again but honestly idk if it's just a One Day Thing or if i'll actually be able to write now fkwhjdhd :^)  
> also, no beta, as always lmao

"So, he still hasn't told you anything?"  
Felix glanced at his best friend from the corner of his eye, before going back to cleaning the counter.

Most of the crowd that came to the café at lunch already left, calming down the place and its workers, and Felix finally felt like he could chill for a second.

He sighed, glaring at the cloth clutched in his hand, like it was the thing's fault for his own grumpy mood.

"No," he muttered in reply, his eyes still not meeting Hyunjin's gaze.

"And you... still don't want to bring it up?"

This time it was the boy that ended on the receiving end of Felix's glare, but Hyunjin didn't even flinch.

Felix pursed his lips, letting the cloth fall onto the counter carelessly.

"No," he repeated, a little more harshly this time.

Hyunjin deflated slightly, his shoulder slumping the slightest bit as he looked away.

"I just..." he trailed off, but Felix was too irritated at the moment for this.

"You what, Hyunjin?"

The said boy nibbled at his lip nervously, his fingers drumming against his thigh.

"I'm scared," he confessed, his voice hushed, making Felix's gaze soften, "that he's not going to do it, and that... you're gonna get hurt if he doesn't."

The whisper was barely audible over the hum of the coffee machine, but Felix still caught it, and he leaned closer, putting his elbows on top of the counter. Hyunjin still refused to make eye contact with him, and the blonde could hear the anxious tapping if his best friend's foot.

No matter how he looked at it, he had to admit that Hyunjin had his reasons, even if he still preferred to wait and see if Changbin gets comfortable enough with him to trust him with the information.

Even if Felix already knew.

He reached out his hand, grabbing Hyunjin by the shoulder and bringing him closer, hugging him over the counter, ignoring the way it jabbed into his tummy.

Comforting Hyunjin was more important.

"It's okay," he murmured when his best friend's arm circled his back, "it's okay to worry. I'm glad you do," he interrupted himself with a sigh, "I see your point, even if I don't fully agree with it."

Hyunjin just nodded in reply, burying his face in his best friend's shoulder silently. After a few seconds passed without any of them saying anything, Hyunjin pulled away slowly, before leaning onto the counter.

Felix quickly glanced around to check if any new customers came in, but when he found no one he turned back to face his best friend.

"Do you want any coffee?" he offered, gesturing vaguely at the coffee machine, making Hyunjin smile the slightest bit, "you know, to cheer you up."

"Sure, why not," replied the older, earning himself a grin from the blonde.

≫≫

He hasn't seen Changbin until the next day.

It was weird. The older usually came to the coffee shop every day - whether just for a few seconds or sometimes even a few hours. But now he hasn't seen the other since the day Changbin came to take care of him when he was sick.

It made him feel just a little bit sad.

Not betrayed, no, just that. A little sad. Not exactly lonely, and not enough to leave him crying, but still there. 3racha's music only worked as a faint reminder of the fact, so after some time, he refused to listen to it.

But instead of that, he found himself blaring out a bunch of sad, sappy songs through his earphones as he stared out of the windows in his room. Watching the people running around, watching some random cats stroll lazily on the streets, watching a stray leaf getting blown by the wind.

He didn't even know he had saved in his phone this type of songs.

_Way to be emo_ , he heard Hyunjin's voice in his mind, and he flinched at just how accurate it sounded.

His thoughts only made him anxious, and he itched to get out of his house, to walk around and hopefully calm his mind down. His empty room was too much, the silence too overwhelming, and he stood up abruptly, throwing on a hoodie that was lying the closest to him - only realizing which one it was when he felt a familiar scent, already outside.

Of course he would wear Changbin's hoodie when he misses the older. Of course.

The universe seemed to enjoy mocking him.

He didn't even get to take a few steps before his phone started ringing, and he pulled it out to see Hyunjin's name displayed on the screen. He didn't hesitate to pick it up.

"What's up?"

"Felix, you asshole, you got me sick!"

accused the boy, his voice scratchy and clearly uncomfortable to use. Felix's heart dipped in worry before he snorted, shaking his head lightly.

"Serves you right," he replied with a cheeky smile, which instantly widened at the betrayed huff Hyunjin let out, "but seriously, are you okay?" he added after a few seconds, his fingers tugging at the sleeve of the hoodie in a nervous habit.

The boy sniffed a few times, right before a sudden sneeze.

"Yeah. I mean, it could've been better, but Seungminnie's here to take care of me so I couldn't be happier!" the last part was rushed out excidetly, and Felix could literally hear the grin in his best friend's voice. It was relieving to hear that Hyunjin still found something to be happy about in this situation.

Then he heard a series of rustling, and a whine of _Minnie, say hi!_ followed by a throaty, if not painful, giggle from the oldest, and he couldn't hold back a soft smile, suddenly really fond of his best friend.

"Hyunjin, no-" he heard Seungmin's muffled voice trail off, and he suspected the older was trying to win him over by using puppy eyes or something. It sounded possible. Hyunjin could be a little sneaky when he wanted, "oh Christ, okay, just stop that!" the words were said so quickly he could barely catch up on them, and the next thing he knew was that he could finally hear the other clearly, "What's up, Felix?"

"You know, the usual. Felling a little bit emo today," he murmured, his gaze falling to the ground, and he kicked a stray rock away, his eyes following it before it disappeared in the grass.

_That's a mood_ , passed through his mind as he just stared blankly at the grass.

"You know, I wanna be a rock," he mumbled, ignoring the confused hum he got in response, "everything would be easier."

He wouldn't have to get through all of this. He wouldn't have to care so much, wouldn't have to care at all if you wanted to be precise. He could just sleep, literally. What problems do even rocks have? A kid throwing them into a river?

He guessed he could live with that.

"Well, that's some low ambitions."

The words made Felix startle, the voice familiar, all too familiar, the one he both hoped not so hear that day but also deep in his heart wished he would. He clutched his phone closer to his chest, apologizing to it in his mind for almost dropping it, before he turned around and glanced at the newcomer.

There, on the other side of the street, stood Changbin, his hands buried deep into the pockets of his hoodie, the corner of his lips turned up slightly.

It took Felix a second to remember that he had to respond, and he furrowed his eyebrows in an attempt of a glare.

"I'm ambitious enough, thank you very much," he muttered, his pout softening at the sound of Changbin's chuckle as the older crossed the street, stopping right next to him and glancing curiously at his phone.

"Who you're talking with?" he asked, reminding Felix that he's still yet to end the call, and he brought it up to his face, checking if his best friend hasn't done it already. But Hyunjin's name still adorned the screen, and he sighed in relief.

"Just Hyunjin. He caught a cold recently," he explained, before jutting out his lower lip, "and he's blaming me for that."

"Poor Hyunjin," murmured Changbin, his gaze falling onto the ground, right where the rock disappeared a few minutes ago.

"Don't you bring my financial status into this, rich boy!" Hyunjin's voice burst through the phone, making the said boy snort. Felix choked on air (seriously, how miserable do you have to be to choke on air) before an uncontrollable giggle left his mouth, and he reached out to Changbin for support to stay up. He only realized his action when the older put his arm around his shoulders to keep him standing, and for some reason his heart picked up its pace.

_Get a grip, Felix Lee_ , a voice in his head added in helpfully once again, this time sounding more like Seungmin.

Or maybe it actually was Seungmin? Felix wasn't sure.

Deciding that he wasn't about to let both Hyunjin and Seungmin witness just how big of a flustered mess he was around Changbin, so he ended the call with a simple, maybe a little bit too enthusiastic _have fun_.

If Changbin noticed, he didn't comment on it.

"Where were you going, anyway?" brought up Felix, glancing around the unusually empty at this hour street. It was weird.

But with the older by his side, everything felt a little bit more familiar.

Changbin bobbed his head to the side - cutely, may Felix add - and his eyebrows went up at the question.

"You know, I could ask you the same thing," he murmured, staring up at Felix, his eyes wide and dark, pulling Felix in, and has he ever noticed just how beautiful they are? "But remember that one shop I took you to, where I showed you some of my lyrics? Yeah, was on the way there, before I saw you having some existential crisis."

And, okay. To his defence, that wasn't really an existential crisis, he was just asking the real questions. Really.

But the word _lyrics_ was stuck, repeating again and again in his mind, and before he could even consider it, he already found himself asking, "can I join you?"

Stupid. So, so stupid.

But right as he was about to go into a rant of self conscious thoughts, a hand caught his own, interlocking their fingers gently, and he glanced down at the shorter boy just to find him already looking back with a soft smile.

"Of course."


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S UP I FINALLY WROTE ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR THIS  
> but also whoops it was all supposed to be soft but it turned a little bitter at the end fkhsnxhsn  
> also, i don't know why but writing for this fic has been kinda tiring for me, so when i say that it's officially (probably) slow to update, i'm not joking. sorry  
> ALSO X2 THIS IS UNBETA'D CAUSE I'M A FOOL AND CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE APPARENTLY

When they arrive, the shop once again is almost empty of any customers.

The sunlight falls in through the wide windows, showering the room in its warm, gentle colours. There's two girls sitting by the counter, chatting with the shop keeper and they turned around at the sound of the door opening, shooting Felix and Changbin a smile before going back to the conversation.

Besides that, the one thing that fills Felix's heart is the soft, so soft music that flows from the speakers, not loud enough to distract anyone but a quiet, peaceful melody in the background that complimented the welcoming atmosphere of the little shop.

Felix took a seat by the table they sat by the last time, looking around curiously, Changbin's words of _wait a second, I'll order_ still fresh in his mind and his gaze fell onto the couple again.

One of the girls watched her girlfriend fondly, as the other made small talk with Changbin while the boy waited for the ice cream to be done. The girls' hands were intertwined where they lay on the counter, a thumb rubbing circles absently on the other's hand, and the sight was so gentle he couldn't hold back a smile.

Even though his heart flipped in his chest for some reason.

And as his gaze continued to wander around the shop, skipping over the colourful paintings hung on the wall and a little, pastel pink trashcan hidden in the corner, he realized why it was.

It's because that's exactly what he wants; what he's wanted for a while now. Because while he loves his friends, appreciates their platonic bonds, somewhere at the back of his mind he still wishes for someone to fill the place as a romantic partner.

And that little hopeful voice in his head, kept on wondering if that person could've been Changbin.

But he decided to ignore it, instead waving at the older currently holding two large ice creams in his hands as he patted carefully to where Felix was sat.

The sight was pretty cute, or even really _hecking_ cute in his opinion, and he cursed his own sappiness in his mind.

But what made his eyebrows lift in surprise was the fact that, after paying it enough attention, he noticed that while one of the cones was a light pink color, the other was deep brown. Which, okay, weird.

He didn't remember saying anything about wanting any chocolate ice cream.

"Which one do you want?" asked Changbin as he came closer, sinking into one of the seats, his eyes wandering around as if he was nervous about something. The ice cream held loosely in his hand, like he wasn't even fully conscious of its existence despite his words.

Felix blinked owlishly at him, but didn't comment on it.

"Chocolate," he murmured after a few seconds, the reply clearly not what the older was expecting. His head tilted to the side, mirroring Felix's expression from before as he responded.

"But I didn't order any chocolate?" he mumbled, only confusing Felix even more, and the boy pointed at the one brown ice cream in Changbin's hand.

It took a few seconds, but the other slowly glanced down, gasping at the realization that he was, indeed, holding _chocolate ice cream_ , before whipping his head up, his eyes wide, and Felix could literally see the apology that was about to leave his mouth, so he lifted his hand to stop the older from doing so.

"It's okay, I'll take it," he said, smiling reassuringly at the shorter boy, then continuing when he saw Changbin's still not fully convinced, "I know you're cocoa intolerant, so don't worry. Chocolate is really good, anyway."

He didn't even need to see Changbin to know the exact expression on his face, the way his eyebrows had lifted in surprise, how his lips parted in a silent gasp, but when he did check, he almost startled at how accurate his assumption was.

(The way Changbin's eyes seemed to hold an entire galaxy in them definitely wasn't one of the reasons for it.)

"How-" drifted off the older, not even reacting when Felix reached out to take his ice cream, his hand only falling slowly onto the table with a muffled _pat_.

"Hyunjin and Seungmin told me," he replied with a shrug, for some reason too nervous to hold Changbin's gaze and staring at the cute couple instead.

The shop filled with their giggles as they leaned into each other, trying not to fall over with the way their bodies shook with laughter, looking so happy just to be together it warmed Felix's heart.

And it's kinda funny, how when he thought about it now, it was so obvious they were a couple that even passersbies could tell it - but would anyone think so about him and Changbin as well?

It was only now that he realized just how close they were sitting, their knees knocking against each other under the table, both of Felix's elbows resting on the table, and just how ironic it was, how it all must've looked like a date to any stranger.

Did the girls assume they were together when they came in with their hands interlocked?

(Considering how he probably must've been giving Changbin heart eyes the entire time, probably. But Felix wasn't going to think about it more.)

"I was wondering..."

Changbin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he glanced back at the other, prompting him to go on with a nod.

(And maybe a whispered _wouldn't have guessed you were able to do that_.)

"Brat," huffed Changbin, a smile pulling at his lips despite the words, "but you really like 3racha, yeah?"

And oh. So that's what he wanted to talk about.

Felix swirled the ice cream in his hand absently.

"Yup," he admitted, suddenly nervous to say so, "I love their music. It's my favorite band, actually."

Changbin nibbled at his lip, his feet shuffling and accidentally hitting Felix's own, the older quickly shooting him an apologetic glance.

Felix just chuckled in reply.

"I wanted to ask you if," he interrupted himself, waving his hand in the air while trying to come up with a way to say what was on his mind, "if maybe, you wanted to know who they actually are?"

And he isn't even sure how it happened.

He doesn't know if it was out of bitterness, or if he just wanted Chanbin to get to the point - the words slipped out of his lips without him even realizing, and now he couldn't do anything about it as Changbin's eyes widened, his shoulders stiffening and it felt like the cheerful melody in the background suddenly stopped, the conversation of the girls by the counter muted as if the only thing that existed right now was just them two.

Because it sure did feel like it.

"Like what, you being SpearB and all that?"


End file.
